Northwest DC park Fort Reno, home to the Fort Reno Summer Concert Series, is on indefinite hiatus. According to a notification by the National Park Service, high levels of arsenic was found in the soil around the park, so it is now closed for further testing and inspection. Consequently, the concert series — run by Amanda MacKaye (Ian MacKaye’s sister) — is in limbo (not "doing the limbo") for this year.

This comes at an especially damaging time, as the folks at Fort Reno just began a campaign asking for donations to raise funds for a sound system and stage maintenance. They are still actively seeking donations, but are unsure whether or not they need to find a new venue to hold the free concert series or to wait until the park is open again.

According to a post on Fort Reno’s website: "We know we’re asking you to donate for concerts that might not happen this year. Think of it as a donation for all the rock of years gone by. We stay dedicated to bringing the music to the people and you can be sure all donations will go to that cause — be it at Fort Reno, some new venue, or something wholly new."

Sounds fair to me! You can donate online here.

(Thanks Jeff Jetton for the tip!)

A rock star may receive the honor of a guitar bearing her or his illustrious name. A festival may be named after a rock star who just so happens to attract fans of the Confederate flag. But come on, did you really think Neil Young would settle for that? He’s got his own SPIDER, bitches, and it’s going to come after you in the night with its big, bushy eyebrows:

The new species of trapdoor spider was discovered by East Carolina University biologist Jason Bond, who explains, "As long as [the] rules are followed, you can give a new species just about any name you please. With regards to Neil Young, I really enjoy his music and have had a great appreciation of him as an activist for peace and justice."

Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi lives in a burrow and builds a trapdoor to protect itself from predators, stealthily waiting underneath for its prey, and then leaps out to drag the unfortunate victim back into its lair.

Hang on a second... this just in! Neil Young has reportedly built a new underground home directly outside the doorway of America’s largest factory farm owner. More on this story as it develops.

Outraged DC concertgoers (might have) waved handmade signs above their heads at a rally last week, reading slogans like "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Crocs" and "Stop Wasting My Pedicure." The crowd’s wrath was directed at one man by the name of Dante Ferrando, owner of the Black Cat club, in response to his new anti-flip-flop policy.

Showing concern at the number of concertgoers suffering serious injuries like crushed toes and cuts from broken glass, Ferrando has decided to tighten up his suggested policy sometime this summer, turning away those who attend shows in the offending footwear. "Flip-flops are pretty much the same as bare feet," he says.

Appalled at Ferrando’s consideration for his patrons’ safety, proponents of the flip-flop are calling his move "sneakerist" and "creepily compassionate," insisting that all forms of footwear be permitted within the club, lest their summer wardrobe be, like, totally ruined.

Rumors of the Black Cat’s conspiratorial secret deal with major athletic shoe companies could not be confirmed at the time of press, but Nike mysteriously could not be reached for comment, even when I called them repeatedly on this here bananaphone. Phooey.

Alas, TMT readership! Worried about paying the monolithic $2.50 to Virgin Mobile for that Danity Kane ringtone you’ve been lusting for?

Price cuts ahead!

Oh-em-gee, sweet reader, the future is now! Burger King is subsidizing Warner Music Group ringtones.

But, why, you ask?

According to that same Billboard article, BK aims to appeal to the technological bent of us modern folk. (This assuredly explains Iron Man toys, chicken fries, and that creepily silent King from BK commercials.)

You know, reader. Kids today, or something.

Music zines will have you believe that the news of Gang of Four losing two members (rhythm section, have you) is an opportunity to exhibit some comical irony. But those ‘clever’ writers are supreme douche nozzles. I think it’s tragic that Dave Allen (bassist) and Hugo Burnham (drummer) have decided to call it quits, especially since the post-punk had just reunited back in 2005. Yes, writers, we all know that Gang of Four is now a "gang of two." Good job.

Here are some departing words from Allen:

At the beginning of April, I decided that I could no longer continue to be a member of Gang of Four. My ability to give 100% to the band is limited and I feel that if I can’t do so, then I shouldn’t continue. As I expand my research and thinking about contemporary music distribution on Pampelmoose.com, and as I focus on online technology and social networking at Nemo Design here in Portland, I find myself conflicted about how the band’s new music should be released. To retain any credibility for Pampelmoose.com about what the future of music distribution will look like, I have to move on and not hold back Jon and Andy’s music plans. I have had a side project for a while now with John Askew of Tracker and Menomena’s drummer Danny Stein called Faux Hoax, and I look forward to fun times finding ways to get our music into peoples’ hands in unique ways.

And now Burnham:

It was a great couple of years of intermittently reminding people old and new, far and wide just how powerful the original four of us were together. Age only increased our power and focus onstage, and it was a rare pleasure to work with the original band once again. Being in a band requires handling the business side of it too, and that became boring and the constant travel became debilitating. I am soon to start my Doctorate, as well as broadening my teaching at more than one college here in Massachusetts, so my free time has become increasingly limited, making it difficult to be involved with them going forward. Musically, I am recording and writing with members of Boston noise-merchants, The Bags and I have also been doing some recording lately with Mike Watt. I wish Jon and Andy luck with their new musical endeavours; I am sure they will be interesting.

Jon King (vocalist) and Andy Gill (guitarist) still plan on releasing a new album this year as Gang of Four, which will be their first new material in over 15 years.

Without the invigorating threat of a miserly major record label breathing down their necks, Radiohead have apparently found themselves lonely for the good ol’ days of being behind the 8 ball. But since they’re like the biggest non-U2 band on the whole damn planet and have, well, pretty much fired everyone who might have been inclined to give them shit about their careers, Thom Yorke and the boys have turned to the only logical remaining option: they’ve decided to let their fans hassle them instead.

According to a recent post on their website, the environmentally mental Radiohead have developed "a new section of the site that gig-goers can visit" from which we, the lowly fans, can "try out [their] carbon calculator and compare different methods for getting to and from the venue." The list of tourdates will also arm environmentally conscious fans with public transportation information relating to each venue as well as "incentives for car sharing." Incentives? What, like free internet downloads or something??

But the good, clean fun doesn’t stop there! Each week, Radiohead’s production team will deliver a new progress report on how the band has or hasn’t been addressing their own touring carbon footprint, as well as whether or not they’ve been making it easier for the "gig goers" to reduce theirs. Fans can log on and gloat about the band’s successes and, even better, climb atop the virtual soapbox about their failings at w.a.s.t.e.-central. From there, eager environmentalists can also post their own local travel information for cities where the band is touring, hook up with potential car-poolers, and, you know, shake their mother earth-loving finger at Thom Yorke. Sounds pretty good, huh?

Anyway, this new, green web page is called "the most gigantic flying mouth for some time" (a much cooler title than In Rainbows if you ask me) and comes on the heels of their post from December last year assessing their carbon footprint for an average overseas tour and the commissioned report on touring and CO2 generation. So what are you waiting for?? Get on there and scrutinize Radiohead! God knows you don’t get the chance to do that very often.

Uh, oh yeah, and in case you forgot or have been living under a rock or something, Radiohead’s huge fucking WORLD TOUR is currently in full-swing:

05.06.08 - Tampa, FL - Ford Amphitheatre *
05.08.08 - Atlanta, GA - Lakewood Amphitheatre *
05.09.08 - Charlotte, NC - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre *
05.11.08 - Bristow, VA - Nissan Pavilion at Stone Ridge *
05.14.08 - St. Louis, MO - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre *
05.17.08 - Houston, TX - Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion *
05.18.08 - Dallas, TX - Superpages.com Center *
06.06.08 - Dublin, Ireland - Malahide #
06.07.08 - Dublin, Ireland - Malahide #
06.09.08 - Paris, France - Bercy #
06.10.08 - Paris, France - Bercy #
06.12.08 - Barcelona, Spain - Parc del Fòrum (Daydream Festival) *#$
06.14.08 - Nimes, France - Arenes #
06.15.08 - Nimes, France - Arenes #
06.17.08 - Milan, Italy - Civica Arena #
06.18.08 - Milan, Italy - Civica Arena #
06.20.08 - Neuhausen ob Eck, Germany - Southside Festival
06.22.08 - Scheeßel, Germany - Hurricane Festival
06.24.08 - London, England - Victoria Park #
06.25.08 - London, England - Victoria Park #
06.27.08 - Glasgow, Scotland - Glasgow Green #
06.29.08 - Manchester, England - Lancashire County Cricket Club #
07.01.08 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Westerpark #
07.03.08 - Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07.05.08 - Werchter, Belgium - Rock Werchter Festival
07.06.08 - Arras, France - Main Square Festival
07.08.08 - Berlin, Germany - Wuhlheide
08.01.08 - Chicago, IL - Grant Park (Lollapalooza)
08.03.08 - Indianapolis, IN - Verizon Wireless Music Center %
08.04.08 - Cleveland, OH - Blossom Music Center %
08.06.08 - Montreal, Quebec - Parc Jean-Drapeau %
08.08.08 - Jersey City, NJ - Liberty State Park (All Points West Festival)
08.09.08 - Jersey City, NJ - Liberty State Park (All Points West Festival)
08.12.08 - Camden, NJ - Susquehanna Bank Center %
08.13.08 - Mansfield, MA - Tweeter Center %
08.15.08 - Toronto, Ontario - Molson Amphitheatre %
08.19.08 - Vancouver, British Columbia - Thunderbird Stadium *
08.20.08 - Auburn, WA - White River Amphitheatre *
08.22.08 - San Francisco, CA - Golden Gate Park (Outside Lands Festival)
08.24.08 - Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl *
08.25.08 - Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl *
08.27.08 - Chula Vista, CA - Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre *
08.28.08 - Santa Barbara, CA - Santa Barbara Bowl *
10.01.08 - Osaka, Japan - Municipal Central Gymnasium
10.02.08 - Osaka, Japan - Municipal Central Gymnasium
10.04.08 - Tokyo, Japan - Saitama Super Arena
10.05.08 - Tokyo, Japan - Saitama Super Arena

* Liars
% Grizzly Bear # Bat for Lashes
$ Ensemble Nacional de España de Música Contemporánea (Jonny Greenwood compositions)

“Music of the Spheres,” ratio-driven explanations, 12-note scales, circle of fifths, meantone tuning, the Greek genera... music and math have been close acquaintances for centuries, but perhaps never has music been analyzed in such a displayable fashion. Three professors — Clifton Callender of Florida State University and Ian Quinn and Dmitri Tymoczko of Princeton University — have devised a method that places musical language into contemporary geometry. Expanding on earlier work by Tymoczko (which is dealt with nicely by Julie Rehmeyer on Mathtrek here), the three profs published “Generalized Voice-Leading Spaces” in the April 18 issue of Science, and the work has been widely praised. As Rachel Wells Hall of St Joseph’s University claims, it “stands out both for the breadth of its musical implications and the depth of its mathematical content.” Assigning mathematical structure to families of chords, notes, scales, and using levels of abstraction, the "geometrical music theory" places music into "quotient spaces," ultimately generating geometrical figures.

Callendar, quoted on EurekAlert, tries to layperson the theory:

Imagine being near the peak of a mountain and needing to get to the immediately opposite location. You could proceed clockwise around the peak, counter-clockwise, or directly over the peak. These same three paths represent unique types of motions between major and minor triads in the space of three-note chord types, which is a cone. In fact, these motions and chords have been ubiquitous in Western music since medieval times to the present day.

Callender, you had me at “Imagine...”

Speaking in “future of music” terms, a few interesting questions arise:

 Are there chords and scales floating in geometric space that are rarely used or have yet to be discovered?
 What applications can the theory have in differentiating the superiority of certain musical styles (perfect for jazz snobs who can now mathematically prove their preferred racket is structurally more complex than the preferred rackets of rock, reggae, blues, techno, etc.)?
 Can the theory be applied to Eastern music, or is it just amenable to Western music?
 Can it translate Japanese noise legend Merzbow?
 What good is a geometry-based theory when everyone knows all songs employ the same three chords?

As far as practical applications are concerned, Tymoczko, courtesy of Scientific Blogging, says, “You could create new kinds of musical instruments or new kinds of toys. You could create new kinds of visualization tools — imagine going to a classical music concert where the music was being translated visually. We could change the way we educate musicians.” Um, I guess he’s never played anything on Windows Media Player?

Tymoczko adds, “The most satisfying aspect of this research is that we can now see that there is a logical structure linking many, many different musical concepts. To some extent, we can represent the history of music as a long process of exploring different symmetries and different geometries.”

Although some will argue that such a deep understanding renders art emotionless or unlovable, that line of reasoning couldn’t be further from the truth. Theory lovers know that base understanding only makes something cold if you are cold. Delving and appreciating underlying foundations and multiple levels of anything can lead one to beauty unimagined by shallow surface-dwellers. Imagine the satisfaction you will get when your “Man, this part of Rush’s ‘Spirit of the Radio’ kicks ten kinds of ass!” is coupled with an appreciation of its categorization of “OPTIC symmetries?” Forget math rock; mathletes are your new gods!

Justice has finally been served. Not in the sense that justice has been delivered, but in the way Stan and his friends got served by a neighboring dance crew. Let’s tip the scales, shall we?

Chad Kroeger, the banal growling frontman of Nickelback, was pulled over by the Canadian authorities at the typically suitable time of 2 AM on June 22, 2006. He was driving his $175,000 Lamborghini at estimated speeds of over 160 km/h (or 100 mp/h). Naturally, given the hour of the incident, he stank of booze and prompted a breathalyser test. His blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit. Chad pled not guilty anyway.

By some small miracle of faith, the court didn’t go for the innocence plea and sentenced Kroeger with the harshest of penalties. On May 2, He received a $600 fine and a suspended license for a whole year. $600 wouldn’t even buy a floor mat from the car he was driving, yet he still plans on appealing the ruling.

I mean, how could he ever afford a chauffeur? It’s not like his band hasn’t sold some 30 million albums or anything. I would hope if this happened in the U.S., the police would at least have the decency to drag him out the car by his curly mullet and curb stomp him against his diamond encrusted hubcaps untill he sobered up enough to be thrown in jail. He deserves nothing less than the star treatment, after all.

Surprise! While you were smoking pot and passing out on your couch for the 17th night in a row, we gnomes were working overtime at TMT headquarters, running dangerous experiments, and offering human sacrifices to the media gods. Well, our work has finally paid off. Allow us to introduce to you the one, the only, the first, the last, the ultimate... TMT FILM!

That’s right, kids, your favorite music site is venturing into the world of moving pictures. We’ll be bringing you new content every week, including reviews, features, and coverage of film festivals around the country. Because TMT Film emerged organically from the interests of the TMT staff, we’ll be covering the kinds of movies that are most exciting to us and, we hope, to all of you. Our focus will be on independent and underground movies, foreign films, revivals, and cult stuff. That isn’t to say that we won’t offer a unique take on more mainstream fare from time to time, but, as with our music content, we want to spread the word about great work that is flying under the radar rather than add to the overexposure of blockbusters.

We know that change can be frightening at first, so we want to make sure everyone understands that the old TMT that we all love isn’t going anywhere. Music is still the center of our universe, but, as Woody Allen feared in Annie Hall, the universe is expanding. We’re not going for world domination, brand expansion, or any of that other bullshit. And we wouldn’t dream of reducing our music coverage by even a little bit.

So, click here for TMT Film. We hope you love it and can’t wait to hear what you think.

A KRS-One performance in New Haven, CT descended into utter irony last weekend when an attendee cut the evening short by jumping on stage and throwing a bottle at KRS. Though the bottle actually hit him and even fucked him up a little bit, he urged the audience to remain calm, saying “Let it go. When negativity comes your way, let it go.” This pacifistic response was necessitated by the fact that the show was part of a tour dedicated entirely to preventing violence. KRS was later treated for dehydration and a fractured hand.

As someone who has never actually listened to KRS-One, but did listen to the Sublime song about KRS-One almost daily through high school, I was hit hard by news of the tragedy. Exactly who, if anyone, will address such issues as hamburgers and steak, Elijah, Mohammed, or the welfare state while KRS recovers is anyone’s guess. Indeed, the fans are the ones who will suffer the most and are in that sense much like Lou Dog after the untimely death of Brad Nowell in 1996. KRS canceled shows along the East Coast after the incident and will have to forego community meetings in Chicago scheduled for the end of the month.