I refuse! This is the work of unpaid interns. Where the hell’s the tourdate kid? The one day he doesn’t come to work, Feist rolls in with a scroll of upcoming shows — bitch has a planner this thick. This many appearances is totally uncalled for. Nobody likes her that much, and no one’s going to know about it anyway because I’M NOT GOING TO DO IT. Yeah, that’s right, I have self-respect! I deserve a little respect! I’m a god-damned highly paid music journalist working for a premier web-based music news and reviews website (Tiny Mix Tapes). I was hired to hang out with rock stars and write off hotel room mini bar bills, NOT format tourdates.

They can’t make me do it. I won’t do it. I won’t.

I was just whipped:

04.11.08 - Bloomington, IN - Indiana University 04.12.08 - Saint Louis, MO - The Pageant 04.14.08 - Tulsa, OK - Cain’s Ballroom 04.15.08 - Austin, TX - Stubb’s Bar-B-Q 04.16.08 - Dallas, TX - Palladium Ballroom 04.18.08 - Atlanta, GA - Masquerade Music Park 04.19.08 - Nashville, TN - Vanderbilt University 04.20.08 - Asheville, NC - Thomas Wolfe Auditorium 04.22.08 - Athens, OH - Templeton Blackburn Auditorium 04.23.08 - Cleveland, OH - Palace Theatre 04.25.08 - Northampton, MA - Smith College 04.26.08 - Charlottesville, VA - Charlottesville Pavilion 04.27.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Academy Of Music 04.29.08 - New York, NY - Hammerstein Ballroom 04.30.08 - New York, NY - Hammerstein Ballroom 05.01.08 - Buffalo, NY - Center For The Arts 05.13.08 - Toronto, ON - Sony Centre For The Performing Arts 05.20.08 - Edinburgh, UK - The Queens Hall 05.21.08 - London, UK - Royal Albert Hall 05.22.08 - Manchester, UK - Palace Theatre 05.24.08 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Paradiso 05.25.08 - Lille, France - Aeronef 05.27.08 - Milan, Italy - Magazzini Generali 05.28.08 - Rome, Italy - Piper Club 06.01.08 - Frankfurt, Germany - Jahrhunderthalle Frankfurt 06.03.08 - Paris, France - Grand Rex 06.04.08 - Paris, France - Grand Rex 06.05.08 - Villeurbanne, France - Transbordeur 06.07.08 - Barcelona, Spain - Sala Apolo 06.08.08 - Madrid, Spain - Sala Heineken 06.10.08 - Porto, Portugal - Oporto Coliseum 06.11.08 - Lisbon, Portugal - Aula Magna 07.11.08 - Highland Park, IL - Ravinia Festival 07.20.08 - Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl 07.22.08 - San Diego, CA - Humphrey’s Concerts By The Bay 08.05.08 - Burnaby, BC - Deer Lake Park 10.16.08 - Edmonton, AB - Rexall Place 10.18.08 - Calgary, AB - Pengrowth Saddledome 10.19.08 - Regina, SK - Brandt Centre 10.20.08 - Winnipeg, MB - MTS Centre 10.24.08 - London, ON - The John Labatt Centre 11.03.08 - Toronto, ON - Air Canada Centre 11.05.08 - Montreal, QC - Bell Centre 11.06.08 - Saint John, NB - Harbour Station 11.07.08 - Halifax, NS - Halifax Metro Centre 11.09.08 - Saint John’s, NL - Mile One Centre