Erratic propulsion!
Implied Speed!
I wouldn’t let this Alley Catss kid take my daughter for a drive.
Partly because he is actually a kid (15?!) and partly because he has no respect for the conventions of plurality in English grammar.
But mainly because I don’t have a daughter.
But if I did I’d say, “No, Penelope, you can’t go on that gap-year train-trip to Budapest, you’ll stay here and help with my failing cheese and wine business.”
But she’d go anyway. I’d get conciliatory postcards smelling of bad perfume, flecked with Malibu vomit.
I’d make endless phone calls to the Hungarian embassy, imploring them to, “Send out the national guard!” and “Catch these damn kidnapping hooligans!”
They’d put me on hold.
And all I’d hear is the bluster of a gale blowing through the switchboard, the vast sucking wormhole of a rural back-road in the dead of night.
The speed of the bluster would flutter through my ears, down to my twisting stomach.
My body would be spinning so fast that by the time the sounds contorted into a radial JUNGLIST abandon it would feel like a relief.
“Hello!?
Can I speak to the senior British diplomat, please?
You’ve had me on hold for 17 minutes here!”
Opal Tapes released the new split cassette by Alley Catss & S Olbricht on 20 April. You can pre-order it from their Bandcamp.
Alley Catss also had a rather excellent 15-track album out last year on Sewage Tapes.
• Alley Catss: http://alleycatss.com
• S Olbricht: https://soundcloud.com/s_olbricht
• Opal Tapes: https://opaltapes.bandcamp.com
More about: Alley Catss, Alley Catss & S Olbricht
