Okay. Bad news first: if you’re a NERD, you’ve probably already heard and reacted nerdily to the (relatively-speaking) TERRIBLE news that Apple (the computer company, not the Beatles thing) plans on shutting down the streaming-music, all-you-can-stand-for-$10-a-month-style subscription service founded by Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre, Beats Music, which it gobbled-up like just one in a stream of unending Pac-Man pellets back in May.
The good news, however, is that, if you’re an EVEN BIGGER NERD than I thought, you probably also subsequently read on Techcrunch that Apple has responded to these rumors by issuing a sleek, clean-lined, pure-white statement that the report of Beats being shut down “is not true.”
“Whew, close one,” right? Case closed.
Oh wait, there’s more stuff: Sources familiar with the situation apparently told this other website you probably read all the time called Re/code that Apple “may, however, modify [Beats Music] over time, and one of those changes could involved changing the Beats Music brand.”
So, wait: Apple isn’t “shutting down” this cool little music service that they bought and don’t want to compete with as they move forward with whatever iTunes plans they have… so much as just, you know: taking it over, shuttering it for a bit, completely overhauling and retooling the brand, and re-rolling it out as something new and Apple-y? Huh. I’m no super-smart NERD like you are or anything, but if that doesn’t constitute “shutting down” Beats Music, then foisting a shitty new U2 album on me and expecting me not to just be annoyed doesn’t constitute “douche-baggery” either.
Case closed for-real.
• Apple: http://www.apple.com
• Beats Music: http://www.beatsmusic.com
