The Wire reports that one of John Coltrane’s saxophones is being sold on eBay — add to your cart today for only $115,000!
This got me thinking; what’s the point of owning memorabilia? Sure, it’s cool to have an art book signed by Trent Reznor, or one of Steven Tyler’s scarves, or a pair of Genesis P-Orridge’s rubber underwear (I’m sure somebody would love those), but they only have as much value as an individual puts on them. Coltrane’s saxophone is valuable to the whole world, and here’s why: cloning. I am perfectly willing to admit my own ignorance in this realm but in my mind’s eye (through the lens of a Sci-Fi-addled brain) I see someone taking a sample of the hardened saliva residue no doubt located inside this saxophone, filling in the holes with the DNA of Bruno Mars (or a frog, whatever), and creating an army of Johns Coltrane that could conquer the world with Jazz.
Now, it’s possible this DNA is no longer viable; the saxophone was primarily used when Coltrane toured Japan in 1966. You can even hear it on some of the live recordings from that period. Whatever the case, the eventual owner of this massively important cultural artifact should get in touch; I may not have the resources (or knowhow) to clone a human, but with our combined intellects, I’m sure we could puzzle it out. Also, being able to touch a saxophone owned by Coltrane would be rad.
• John Coltrane: http://www.johncoltrane.com
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