Slightly dismayed by negative reactions to their last college campus-focused anti-piracy campaign (though notably unashamed), the RIAA has decided to shift its message from warm legal reminders to passive-aggressive, sugar-coated death threats. While last time they swooped down on campuses with fun and colorful DVDs to throw away, this time they've created an ominous website where individuals facing lawsuits over file-sharing can skip past pesky arguments and send money to them directly, almost like PayPal if PayPal sustained itself solely on the sound of weeping and gnashing of teeth. If these individuals choose to settle their suits through the RIAA's website within 20 days of being marked for slaughter, they can pay "at a discounted rate." Wow! I almost feel like getting sued myself, just so I can benefit from their generous savings.
RIAA President Cary Sherman said, "Because we know that some audiences -- particularly campus music downloaders -- can sometimes be impervious to even the most compelling educational messages or legal alternatives, these new efforts aim to help students recognize that the consequences for illegal downloading are more real than ever before." And he means real! You know how he was talking about copyright laws before, and it really sounded like he wasn't joking? He had that poker-face and was looking you directly in the eye and even sort of trembled like his own children had been affected, and you couldn't help but believe him? Remember that? Well forget it!! It's even realer than that! That was like 50% real, 50% imaginary, but now it's totally palpable, like maybe only 5% of it is still bullshit!
Along with the website, the RIAA also sent out 400 pre-litigation letters to 13 universities on Wednesday, so if you go to Arizona State University, Marshall University, North Carolina State University, North Dakota State University, Northern Illinois University, Ohio University, Syracuse University, the University of Massachusetts -- Amherst, the University of Nebraska -- Lincoln, the University of South Florida, the University of Southern California, the University of Tennessee -- Knoxville, or the University of Texas -- Austin, please remain seated and re-check your e-mails. If you go to all these universities, leave a note for Mom and just run out the front door, following the North star.
Mitch Bainwol, RIAA CEO, said, "We understand that no deterrence or education program will 'solve' piracy. Our job is to provide sufficient oxygen for the legal marketplace to show its true promise." Those around Bainwol at the time had no idea what he meant in his second sentence, but wrote it down and reported it anyway because they appreciate sentences that end with a "true promise."