Tiny Mix Tapes

Edgar Bronfman Jr.: The Acceptable Face of Capitalism, Bearded

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Warner Music Group CEO, acclaimed ‘Just For Men’ facial hair model and much sought-after business wunderkind Edgar Bronfman Jr. has, once again, managed to find himself in the middle of a pretty little shitstorm. Two French magistrates tugged him in by the scruff of his pristinely manicured little beard for no less than ten hours of hot ’n’ horny questioning over allegations of fraud and share manipulation during his tenure as board director with Vivendi.

The investigation centers around an incident where Efer dumped a large quantity of his shares in the organization back in early 2002. Thing is, Vivendi were just about to announce a large-scale share buyback program; this was widely expected to result in a significant drop in the share price. Those inquisitive Gauls seemed to think this all sounded just a little bit too much like insider trading for their liking; consequently, the cosy tête-à-tête with EBJ.

One of Bronfman’s lawyers, Thierry Marembert, made a statement after details of the meeting were made public last Friday. In it, he said that “Mr Bronfman's transactions have at all times been proper and at no time did he contravene any French laws.” And, of course, I have absolutely no doubt this is indeed the case, and that all this’ll blow over double-quick.

Then Edgar will be able to get back to the most important things in life; namely, continuing to provide a vital moral compass to his kiddiewinkles, waving his arms furiously and shaking his head dumbly over the continuing meltdown of the WMG share price, and -- of course -- continuing his implacably brave fight against the modern-day slavery he and his artists are being forced to endure through the evils of file-sharing.