Following in my series of Minnesota-related info-bits (TMT News), I now bring tidings of joy: Prince has signed an exclusive deal with Target, the massive, blood-stained retailer with locations near you, and plans to release a 3CD set for the low, low price of $11.98.
This latest move by The Short One has pleased suburbanite-funksters the world over, reavealing Prince as the newest in the line of big-name, past-their-prime artists signing exclusive deals with outlets like Target, Wal-Mart, and Best Buy. Other “artists” include AC/DC, The Eagles, Guns N’ Roses, and Garth Brooks, who have all sold millions of bad albums through exclusive deals with big-box retailers, making it even easier for fat-assed morons, who can’t find the energy to go to more than one store, to get the music they love.
Of course, Target is quite pleased with the deal ($$$$!), and Mark Schindele, Target’s Senior Vice President of Merchandising, called me up to talk. He had this to say: “We are thrilled to have the opportunity to share [Prince’s] most recent work with our Target guests." I then asked Mark how he felt about Prince, personally, and he practically chortled as he gave me his response in a sing-song voice, very reminiscent of pre-teen girls talking about those lovely Jonas Brothers: "Prince has long been renowned as one of the world's most original and iconic musical artists [plus, I love those ass-less chaps he wears!]" Okay, he didn’t say anything about the ass-less chaps. But I do love Prince’s most controversial leg-wear.
Interested consumers, confused soccer moms, and Prince fanatics can pick up the 3CD box-set -- which consists of two new albums, LOtUSFLOW3R and MPLSoUND, as well as a third by his new artist, Bria Valente -- on March 29.