I like to picture Lucifer as a hybrid of Charles Nelson Reilly and Ann Coulter ruling over a sticky, wet-hot Floridian summer, constantly holding a frothy chocolate milkshake just beyond arm's length. The soundtrack is Saliva's 2001 album, Every Six Seconds. Vocally, the Devil is likely stuck between the cadence and intonation of Gilbert Gottfried and Fran Drescher, so when the Dark Lord called out to his soldiers in the brooding electro-pop twosome Underworld, they wisely obeyed. Initially, we were told that the group would be postponing their European tour in support of this year's Oblivion With Bells (TMT Review) due to "severe illness" within the band, just months after band member Rick Smith was injured by 30 anarchists armed with baseball bats and tear gas during a festival set by The Beastie Boys. I say, Satan's minions come in all forms.
As a result, the band's tourdates spanning Germany, The Netherlands, and Belgium throughout October and November were canceled to allow time to "heal." Sure, dudes. But can you really blame them? If anyone wields enough power to get a tour canceled, it's the Big Bad Guy. But being the loyal servants they are, Underworld completed whatever dark tasks they were assigned and are back to treating their own faithful across the Atlantic. Don't forget to sacrifice that virgin blood or they might not show.
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