Reason number one: The band's name is Enon, a town northeast of my hometown of Dayton, OH. Incidentally, also the hometown of band founder John Schmersal. Daytonians are supposed to be closed-minded and unworldly, John. We DON'T travel to England.
Reason number two: I know the whereabouts of and have played Brainiac's old Micromoog synthesizer. Sorry John, I'm afraid you'll never get it now.
Reason number three: Clotted cream. Who are these guys kidding with a name like that? I already know it will fill my body with lipids and all kinds of unhealthy cholesterols, they don't have to advertise it. Plus, it's impossible to eat scones and jam without looking pretentious. Talking with a British accent can have the same effect.
Reason number four: Profit.
Alright, my argument isn't as convincing in text as it was in my head. Maybe I like using verbs of being when action verbs could be used! They are are essential to righting a well wrotten newsstory, and I efuse too list to your English Oxford bullbabble!
I must be losing my mind... I need you Enon, more than you'll even know.
Dates and oats: