Wow. In the annals of most bizarre-o Christmas specials, this one's got to take the cake -- as well as possibly being a sign of the impending apocalypse. Move over Hall and Oates "Jingle Bell Rock" video, where the guys bop around full of Christmas cheer and camp, exchanging gifts, and excluding undesirable carollers from their winter hideaway. Forget you, Family Matters episode where Urkel learns the true meaning of giving. There's a new offering on the spoof table, and that's Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert's A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All. Debuting November 23, the hour-long show will feature Feist, Elvis Costello, John Legend, Willie Nelson, and -- OMG -- Toby Keith.
Of course, the question on all your minds is probably "Will Colbert be singing?" The answer: a resounding yes. Expect compositions from the duo of David Javerbaum, executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and Adam Schlesinger of Ivy and Fountains of Wayne. These future hits will include numbers like:
- "Please Be Patient" by Feist
- "Little Dealer Boy" by Colbert/Willie Nelson
- "There Are Much Worse Things To Believe In" by Colbert/Elvis Costello
- "Hanukkah" by Colbert and the man who doesn't know he's my boyfriend yet, Jon Stewart
- "Nutmeg" by Colbert/John Legend
- "(What's So Funny 'bout) Peace, Love And Understanding" by everybody
- "Have I Got a Present for You" by Toby Keith, which presumably is not a country music answer song to Justin Timberlake's Christmas smash of last year, "D*@# in a Box."
The premise of the show involves Stephen Colbert getting snowed in at his upstate New York cabin with a motley crew of vocally-talented guests, America's conscience, and a heroic young horse who teaches everyone how to believe in their dreams*. No word yet as to whether Hall and Oates are sharing the cabin next door.
Only two short days after the Colbert Christmas lights up screens across America, it will be released November 25, with a percentage of the purchase price going to charity Feeding America. The lucky owners of this DVD will benefit from extras, like an advent calendar, alternate endings, and what is described simply as a "book burning Yule log."
*Not actually true, to the best of my knowledge.