Tiny Mix Tapes

The Replacements Get Reissued; The Friz, Scout Leader Kyle, and I Leave Pennsylvania and End Up at a

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Last you guys heard, the tired trio of TMTers were holed up at a family truck stop in Pennsylvania. Luckily, we were just an exit away from I-70. I told my boys that, if we left right away, we could make it to Indiana before dinner and quite possibly make it to Ball State University in time for the writer's community meeting. Scout had walked to the diner because his license was taken away after driving to a Jens Lekman concert after a few too many vodkas and tonics. I rode my bike because I thought The Friz wanted to keep this trip "green." So, the only car was a fuel-efficient VW owned by the one and only Friz.

I take off the wheels from my bike and situate everything in the trunk of the car. Scout calls "shotgun" but didn't call blitz, so I rush and tagged the door before he did. I thought bio-diesel was kind of pussy, but it turns out The Friz makes good use of his newly tuned VW, and we make it to the Indiana-Ohio border in 35 minutes. I swear. We then hop onto I-465 North and then I-69 North to Muncie, Indiana. Scout of course makes no fewer than 27 jokes about riding on a highway called I-69.

Friz parked outside the Robert Bell building, and we ran up to the second story and found our seats for the small writer's community meeting. A few kids read some really shitty poems about relationships or whatever other shitty topics college students choose. (Side note: The Friz, Scout, and I only write really profound poetry). Finally, some kid, some boner of a kid with those intellectual glasses that were cool during the "blue" album from Weezer, reads lyrics from The Replacements. He finishes and says if you've never heard The Replacements, you can't consider yourself a human. Kewl dude! Whatever.

Friz laughs and looks at Scout and me. I know what he's thinking: this kid is trying to talk about rock ‘n’ roll, but little does boner-boy know that he is sitting in front of three of the greatest rawk journalists of all time.

Timidly, Scout raises his hand and says, "Hey dude, I bet you didn't know The Replacements' first three albums and an EP will be reissued April 22 thanks to Rhino"

Boner-boy pushes up his glasses and stutters, but no one pays attention. The Friz takes Scout's momentum and runs, "Yeah, Scout, their debut album -- 1981's Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash - will be released with bonus demos and outtake versions of several songs."

Boner-boy tries to regain footing, "Well, um, what about their 1984 release, Let it Be? Some would say that is their most seminal record."

My turn, "Don't say seminal, you dildo. And yes, Let it Be along with Hootenanny and their EP Stink will all be released this spring. All, of course, will feature bonus material and whatnot."

"Ooooh. Owned!" shouts Scout. The trio high-fives, and then Scout, who now has quite clearly become an alcoholic, pulls out three PBR tall boys and we get to crackin'.