Tiny Mix Tapes

This Is Not a Test: The Futureheads Are Back to Save the Universe… Oh Wait

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Hey there, readers. Come on in, and welcome to this rather willfully postmodern news story about the new Futureheads record. Why don't you get comfortable? There's something I want to talk to you about.

Listen, I'd love to entertain the hell out of you today (you know, like I usually do) with a goofy story about lovable Sunderland punk-poppers The Futureheads and their new, third LP, This is Not The World, which was produced by Youth (Primal Scream, the Verve) and slated to be released via the band's own Nul Records May 27 in North America, in case you were wondering.

But, the thing is, I'm a little upset.

Why? I'll tell you why: press releases. If you've ever worked for a music (or related arts) publication, then you can relate to the stacks and stacks of artist-plugging birdcage liner that show up here at our 31st floor TMT offices every day, all with the intent of convincing us, the jaded music literati, that this or that "hot" band is doing this or that "career-defining" thing and releasing this or that "industry-bucking" product. I mean, pretty much every day, the poor guys (and one weird, tattooed girl) from our mailroom bring up literal sacks of these things (along with our Starbucks orders) for us to wade through. These press releases are all packed with insane amounts of information, and each and every one of them makes you feel like you'd be a complete IDIOT not to report on every excruciating iota of these fly-by-night groups' supposedly "storied" histories.

Take this overstuffed Futureheads press release that Tattoo Girl just handed to me. Like, should I report that this next record is going to be their "finest moment"? That's kind of not in my jurisdiction. Or, is it noteworthy that those dudes "embraced the punk-rock ethic like never before" and "took control of their own destiny" by releasing the thing independently? Or maybe you readers would enjoy hearing about how this new record is "the album they've always intended to make"? I mean, come on! That's what every band says about every record, like, ever! Maybe you could trim things down a little bit here? Maybe we could save a tree or two?

The least their press agent could have done was spare me the literally track-by-track breakdown of the record that follows all of this insane hype. Oh, hey, do you want to know what the Futurehead's publicist thinks of the new Futureheads record??

DUH: He thinks it’s fucking awesome, and you should buy it!

Oh, and the band bio going all the way back to the year 2000 isn't exactly helping me contextualize this new record very much either. Remember when the band met Dennis Hopper on Jimmy Kimmel Live in 2005 everyone? Well, apparently we're all supposed to! I'm sorry, Mr. over-stuffed press release -- I'll report that right away! Whatever happened to the simple matter of the title, release date, producer/engineer, and trackli...

Oh, damn it! I almost forgot:

This Is Not The World, huh? Tell that to their press release.