UPDATE: Like a lot of things in life, this deal was too good (great?) to be true. Alas, the people at Sperm for Tickets have posted an "Urgent Update," claiming the "purpose of [their] website was to test market interest through a pilot scheme." They go on to say that "applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations" and are now "calling a halt to the invitation to apply for packs, and will review the results of the scheme to decide on how to proceed." My recommendation? Squeeze out the juice you've been saving up, because who knows what'll result from Sperm for Tickets' pilot/publicity scheme/bullshit.
- Do you live in Europe?
- Do you masturbate often?
- Are you male and proud of your sperm?
- Do you want tickets to a European music fest?
If you answered yes to these questions, then Ireland and you should totally get in touch, because it has the goods if you have the man juice! Why and how you ask?
Well, Ireland is currently in a state of code red when it comes to sperm donations, and it's running out of current cum supplies faster than it can fill the demand. So, now Ireland needs you to grab your member and jack off into a special cup that'll keep your seeds fresh for three days while you ship them via UPS or DHL! A fuckin' modern marvel!
And what do you get out of this (besides an orgasm)? Well, Sperm For Tickets will provide you with tickets to any European festival of your choice! That's right: jizz for tickets. Pretty dope deal, right? Well, be warned: your sperm will go through some pretty rigorous tests to make sure you don't have any impurities -- you know, from that girl you hooked up with after that Girl Talk show last April.