Biophilia is an ambitious album, distilling the shape, rhythm, and velocity of our entire universe into a 150x150-pixel clickable square, and to Björk it seemed like a shame to have the end result benignly stationed there between Words With Friends and that flashlight app that just shows a white screen. Sure, the bashfully wealthy were able to appreciate the entirety of existence on an iPad, but what about the revoltingly wealthy who already own prototypes of the iBrad personal robotic assistant? Well, all they have to do is think about clicking this link and iBrad will spring to life and start purchasing copies of Biophilia: The Ultimate Edition for all their grandkids.
Strictly limited to as many copies as people are actually going to fork over £500 (~$812) for by August 12, this special edition comes with all the bells and whistles: 10 chrome-plated tuning forks, each one set to the tone of a different Biophilia track, collectively forming a complete octave in a “non-conventional scale.” Next-level scale coming through, meatheads:
Moon: E 329.6 Hz
Thunderbolt: B 246.9 Hz
Crystalline: G 392 Hz
Cosmogony: F# 370 Hz
Dark Matter: Silent fork
Hollow: C 261.6 Hz
Virus: C# 277.2 Hz
Sacrifice: A 440 Hz
Mutual Core: Eb 311.1 Hz
Solstice: A 220 Hz
Yes, the “Dark Matter” fork will suck all sound from the room once it’s struck, including your screams. And that’s not all: these sound-making metal chunks will be beautifully arranged in a flocked tray within a lacquered, silkscreened oak box with a hinged lid — just like my No. 2 pencil box in fifth grade! Other things included in this oaken box that do not justify the price: a 48-page Biophilia Manual that is covered in cloth and sewn with thread; a ribbon to get the manual out of the box; essays about universe-y things by Nikki Dibben; a Certificate of Authenticity like you’re buying something on QVC. Oh, and the Biophilia album itself, with some extra recordings. Did I mention that the spine and back cover of the manual will be foil blocked?
This lovely, lavishly lacquered lenticular load of stuff is only being offered until next Friday (August 12), so buy it now or forever be edited out of Björk’s vision of the future.
• Björk: http://www.bjork.com