Okay, people, we’re here. Ground zero. There’s no time to spare, so I’m not going to sugarcoat this. Americana, Neil Young’s recycling, re-imagining, re-appropriating, re-diculous album of American folk songs as slammed-through by the original members of Crazy Horse, is out this week. There’s really just nothing we can do about it. These things happen. And in fact, in order for our officially “pro-Neil Young” society to save as much face as possible, I’d advise everyone here to take the following actions as swiftly and calmly as possible: Find a stream of the new album somewhere, listen to that minor key, hard-rock version of “Oh Susannah” in which Neil and a choir of young children spit the lines “Cuz I come from Al-a-bama with a B-A-N-J-O on my knee” in successive monosyllables (you know, to better fit the song’s bewildering use of Latin groove), and get your laughs, derision, eye-rolls, criticisms, and ironic social media shares out right the fuck now. Because Neil Young seems serious about this thing being a thing.
How serious? “A whole fall tour’s worth of dates” serious. And if we as a continent of Neil Young supporters want to get through these shows and enjoy all the thoroughly ass-kicking badassery that could very well be involved when Neil Young and Crazy Horse get together to play some of our favorite old tunes on giant stages across the US and Canada with Los Lobos and Patti Smith opening, we’re going to have to pay the price. So let’s just drop whatever it is we were going to do with our summers and start putting in the time conditioning ourselves not to boo or laugh in their faces when they punctuate that badassery with liberal doses of this new record. Get listening, North America. We’ve got work to do.
Neil Young & Crazy Horse dates:
07.05.12 - Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheater
07.06.12 - Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheater
07.10-12.12 - San Francisco, CA - Golden Gate Park/Outside Lands Fest
10.03.12 - Windsor, ON - WFCU Centre
10.05.12 - Kingston, ON - K ROCK Centre
10.06.12 - London, ON - John Labatt Centre
10.08.12 - Cleveland, OH - Wolstein Center
10.09.12 - Pittsburgh, PA -Petersen Events Center
10.11.12 - Chicago, IL - United Center
10.13.12 - Austin, TX - Zilker Park / Austin City Limits Fest.
10.14.12 - Tulsa, OK - Tulsa Convention Center Arena
10.17.12 - Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl
11.10.12 - Seattle, WA - Key Arena
11.11.12 - Vancouver, BC - Rogers Arena
11.13.12 - Calgary, AB - Scotiabank Saddledome
11.14.12 - Saskatoon, SK - Credit Union Centre
11.16.12 - Winnipeg, MB - MTS Centre
11.19.12 - Toronto, ON - Air Canada Centre
11.23.12 - Montreal, QC - Bell Centre
11.24.12 - Ottawa, ON - Scotiabank Place
11.26.12 - Boston, MA - TD Garden
11.27.12 - New York, NY - Madison Square Garden
11.29.12 - Philadelphia, PA - Wells Fargo Center
11.30.12 - Fairfax, VA - Patriot Center
12.04.12 - Bridgeport, CT - Webster Bank Arena at Harbor Yard
• Neil Young: http://www.neilyoung.com
• Reprise: http://www.warnerbrosrecords.com