In case you didn’t know, guitars — unlike humans, some birds, and walls in historical buildings — cannot talk. They did not evolve throats like the rest of us, they do not have mouths, and they are not sentient. For the most part they are made of wood. But okay, stick with me for a second, I’m about to do something WILD. I’m going to propose a crazy what-if scenario: what if guitars could talk? That’s a crazy thought, right? It’s not that crazy, actually. With new inanimate objects learning to speak every day, a future in which guitars can yell at you whenever you mess up that sweet riff or play them out of tune is coming up faster than you think.
If that day were today, if guitars were suddenly able to utter whatever was on their tiny tuning peg bedecked minds, I’ve got a feeling I know what they’d be saying. Check it out, The Dead C just announced that they’ve got a new album coming out on Ba Da Bing Records on September 3 of this year, and it follows this year’s split with Rangda. It’s called Armed Courage, and it apparently consists of “two jarring side-long tracks.” Bands like The Dead C, bands that have been around for almost 26 years making raucous free-form experimental noisy guitar music are pretty much the scariest thing to guitars. As a guitar, getting played on a Dead C record is sorta like going to a dentist who actually does all his work on a roller coaster because he’s very inconsiderate and not interested in running a practical business.
Since I’m clearly not a guitar, I’ll go ahead and say I’m stoked about all this. Especially since you can pre-order the album today from the Ba Da Bing website! And there are special pre-order deals where you can get parts of the Dead C back catalog on the cheap! And Dead C guitarist Michael Morley is touring as Gate in September with Godspeed! You Black Emperor! And the band is on the cover of the latest issue of The Wire! Everything is happening all at once! The world feels like an incomprehensible series of lights and sounds!!! This must be what it feels like to be a guitar coming into sentience for the first time!!!!
Gate dates:
09.04.13 - Vancouver, BC - Vogue Theatre *
09.06.13 - Portland, OR - Roseland Theater (Musicfest NW) *
09.09.13 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall *
09.12.13 - Los Angeles, CA - The Fonda Theatre *
09.14.13 - Pomona, CA - The Fox Theatre *
09.15.13 - Solana Becah, CA - Belly Up Tavern *
09.16.13 - Tuscon, AZ - Rialto Theatre *
* Godspeed! You Black Emperor
• The Dead C: http://www.badabingrecords.com/current/the-dead-c-2
• Ba Da Bing: http://www.badabingrecords.com