Labeled “dispatches from the vault 2013-2014,” in the cassette and on Bandcamp, Wurm Man Dubiosity is no-doubt the outtakes from Gem Jones’ Admiral Frenchkiss (TMT Review). So, considering the time-period the tracks were made, and it’s rare people even consider anything on the dynasty collection of Night People tapes as “releases,” Ima just do old Gem up track-by-track as one maniac to another, and give the entire six-track cassette a Death Wish V: The Face of Death out of FIVE:
“National Bone Clown”
This was the way I thought as a child on days I didn’t know where my parents were, so I did a bunch of weird shit. One time I dressed up like a clown-woman with mom’s costume and ordinary clothes, and looked in the mirror trying to put on make-up and then shaving it off, which left permanent scars on my visage. Or like being in the backyard and finding a dead bird that had hit our house window, died, so I buried it in our family’s compost because the two smelled the same.
“Marie 223”
When I was in middle school, I “dated” this gal from Egypt and at the winter dance, she and I did an extended cut abstract dance routine to “My Heart Will Go On,” getting us kicked out, so we sneaked back into the girls locker room to up-heave every full, unlocked locker, finishing off by making out in a pile of sweaty bras and panties on the floor of the showers. She moved back to Egypt a year later and wrote me a letter comparing her boredom there to watching poop fall out of her butt, but I love that, so I didn’t pursue the relationship further.
“You Don’t Have to Bleed”
When I was a child, I was forced by a man in Penn Station to stab my brother really slowly in the stomach with a pen in the back hallway between the AMTRACK and LIRR. There-after, the man laugh and ran away screaming as if he were on fire, and left us there crying, as I’m trying to put blood back into my brother, thinking about where our parents were in this dream. I continue to have this dream, and now I’ve a mantra to snap me out of it.
“Through a Melted Moon”
“Livin’ Ain’t Livin’”
First time I heard someone refer to life as being TOO SHORT or MOMENTARY was the older kid tryna sell me his Playboys on the bus, but recently, when asked to watch the kids downstairs with five minutes notice because the mom had an emergency, I was already drunk and disassociated with reality to the point that, upon the mother leaving, one baby kept crying, while the one-year old watched us from the couch, and when the crier stopped for a minute to breathe, he started back up again, so I just lightly yelled at the same volume as him, stopped with him, yelled again, and the younger one on the couch started laughing and clapping, and so did the crier, then we proceeded to watch Cookie Monster movies on YouTube and shit got surreal, whilst I blew their hairs when they weren’t paying attention because them kids got manes.
“Shine On Me”
This is the soundtrack to me having to grab danglies off my dog when she’s taking a shit during our afternoon walk in the middle of the summer, and a piece of hair (attached to her poop) just keeps coming out of her as everyone passing by in their cars just admires the tug-of-war I’m having with my dog’s asshole.
That’s it. Gem Jones is the golden child of music. Night People Records will reign supreme always, no matter how much you pay attention. And if you’re not already gouging out co-workers’ eyes in order to make it to a computer fast enough to grip Wurm Man Dubiosity on tape, then your soul is bound to rot within the next 30 minutes. SHARE!
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• Gem Jones: https://gemjonesia.bandcamp.com
• Night People Records: http://www.raccoo-oo-oon.org/np