Hey baby, happy holidays. Let’s whip out the eggnog before we leave for my parents. Oh, mm, the tree looks great. I love what you did with the lights in that bush. Okay, but don’t put up all of the noise-making ornaments. Put on that aesthetically green Sting album you like so much.
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What? What do you mean your mother’s in town? Why didn’t she say anything before now? We told my parents we’d be there at six. It’s 4:30 and you haven’t started the casserole? What’s wrong with you?Yeah, I guess your mother can come over.
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Hi Sharron, sorry about the mess. No, we didn’t have the money for a real tree this year. Rich said he’d cook this year. No, we didn’t make it to church this year. Yes, we saw their Christmas card, they looked very happy.
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Yeah, mhm. Rich. Richard. Hello? We have to get going if we’re going to get there on time. What do you mean you’re not “feeling too hot?” You’re joking right? What am I suppose to tell them?
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“Oh, Rich? He couldn’t make it. No nothings wrong with us.” Sounds great. I love that conversation. Whatever, Rich. No. I’m fine. It’s fine. I’ll stop by the store on the way. Merry Fucking Christmas.