SOPHIE says her new album is finished, and why would SOPHIE lie?

JEEZ, everywhere you look nowadays, it’s nothing but SOPHIE SOPHIE SOPHIE.

“SOPHIE the British Producer” THIS…and “SOPHIE the hot-AF multimedia artist” THAT…

…and now (fucking SURPRISE-SURPRISE:) it’s “SOPHIE SAYS ON INSTAGRAM THAT HER NEW ALBUM IS DONE”.

I mean, give me a BREAK The internet is crowded enough already, don’t you think?!!

…Then, you got all these hideous BLOCKQUOTES on the goddamn internet, too; and they’re all-like:

My album (not called Whole New World) is finished so hopefully they can get it out soon with minimal faff.
 -SOPHIE

…and then, there’s this BANGING AS SHIT, seizure-educing BRAND NEW VIDEO that just dropped to accompany SOPHIE’s announcement, and it’s all-like:

I mean: what is this? Like, some kinda Prodigy.net chat room, sponsored by SOPHIE, INC???

Oh, I know! Shit, how about I embed that INSTAGRAM THING for you, so there can be ANOTHER glitzy, flashy, SOPHIE-RELATED THING for you to look at!

Screw it, I’m doing it:

Thank you to every single person who came, bought tickets, and was open to receiving this personal outpouring. It was an insane and wild privilege to be able to present this music and these shows to you. My album (not called Whole New World) is finished so hopefully they can get it out soon with minimal faff. P.s. stfu the @guardian you whiny biches have a nice day bye!

A post shared by SOPHIE (@sophie_msmsmsm) on Apr 3, 2018 at 11:00am PDT

And festival dates! I almost forgot FESTIVAL DATES! WHY WOULDN’T THERE BE FESTIVAL DATES?!?

04.21.18 - Atlanta, GA - Drunken Unicorn
05.13.18 - Acrosant, AZ - FORM Arcosanti
06.09.18 - Milan, Italy - Radar
06.15.18 - Barcelona, Spain - Sonar
07.07.18 - Trenčín, Slovakia - Pohoda Festival
07.12.18 - Oeiras, Portugal - NOS Alive
07.13.18 - Bilbao, Spain - Bilbao BBK Live