The big question: How many tracks is too many tracks? Me, I top out at about 43. Yep! 43. That’s the number of tracks on the single-CD edition of The Minutemen’s Double Nickels on the Dime, the one where the folks at SST chopped off one weird instrumental and the cover of Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love” in order to cram everything else on one disc. Have I heard those other two tracks? No! Have I ever wanted to? No way, pal! 43! That’s my limit. 43 perfect tracks. Never wanted any more, never wanted any less. Totally satisfied by that number of tracks, I am.
Wait a sec, so what’s the news here? Oh I’ll tell you what’s the news: Frank Ocean’s pal Vegyn has dropped himself a mixtape. It’s called Text While Driving If You Want to Meet God!. Great title! But this thing? Folks, this thing’s got 71 tracks. Am I gonna listen to this thing? Fuck no! Am I a big Frank Ocean fan? Huge! But here’s the thing: 71 tracks? That’s too many tracks! My puny mind can’t handle it!
IF, however, you feel your puny mind CAN handle it, here’s the deets: This thing’s tracks, they’re all puny (like my mind!); they land in the 1-2 minute realm. (Not unlike The Minutemen!) They are also all named for their bpm in addition to their regular titles. (Also like The Minutemen! Wait…)
Text While Driving If You Want to Meet God! is out on via PLZ MAKE IT RUINS, the also-snappily-named label co-founded by Vegyn. Listen to it here. Am I gonna type out a 71-track tracklist below this paragraph? Fuck no!