A one-act record review, by Anne and David Martin:
Anne and David are riding to Oodles of Noodles Buffet in a gold 1996 Oldsmobile Cutlass. David has brought a promo to listen to on the way.
Anne: Oooh, check out the album art. They're in a bus station or subway terminal or something. How New York and chic.
David: Yah. Check out the press kit: 'Stephen Becker, PhD.,'””they actually wrote PhD., god forbid we not know his proper title -- 'Disenchanted with the conformity and luddite tendencies of indie rock and power pop...' Is this ass for real?
Anne: Well, this first track bites ass for real. (hits the skip button)
David: This one sounds like some clever rich kid's take on '70s AM radio. (hits the skip button).
Anne: Ooooh, I love when bands sound like the Pet Shop Boys! (hits the skip button)
David: This one's like an Elliott Smith song. The one that sucked so much it drove him over the edge.
Anne: Be nice to Elliott Smith! He made good sad songs. This guy doesn't.
David: Fair enough. It's not too late to listen to XO, actually.
Anne: We're almost there. (both listen to one of the increasingly indistinguishable songs in silence for a few moments -- every few moments, one leans over to skip the current track, eliciting no protests from the other)
Anne: This guy's little girl voice makes me angry.
David: Agreed. Oh! There's the buffet! Let us forget this ever happened.
Anne: Deal. Crab Rangoons ho!
The End
1. People Mover
2. Parallel Lives
3. Archaeology Of Cruelty
4. Little Stabs At Happiness
5. Startling Revelations
6. Manhattan Chase
7. Taxi In The Snow
8. I Will Go To My Grave Wanting You To Love Me
9. In The Morning
10. Controlling
11. Sound Of Your Name, The
12. It's The Minor Chords That Kill You
13. I Hate Rock And Roll