Come in…come in! Breaker breaker this is an alien lost in the recesses of time and space. My spaceship is experiencing mechanical failure and I don’t know if anyone can hear this but I need help. I know much of your solar system has been fed a bunch of Hollywood propaganda about big headed, bug-eyed beings from outside your depth of knowledge but I am none of those things. My head is small, my eyes correctly proportioned. My breath doesn’t even smell bad. But back to the matter, my ride is steaming. I think the hyperdrive is on fire. It’s all to do with picking up Brad Rose and Nate Young. Knew I shouldn’t have beamed them up. They started playing with all the glowing buttons on the console, believing it to be some futuristic instrument to save mankind from music. Turns out it’s just the control panel for my used UFO. Anyway, I don’t need saving from the smoking and sputtering of the ship, I have the training to fix it. But every time I make one repair, Rose and Young cause two more ruptures in its place! Can someone come and take them back to Earth? I’ll pay your gas money. Just make sure you bring a jalopy without anything that can be made into an instrument.
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