You’ve often drooled on your pillow as dreams of a world where the NFL, footwork, and Rob Gordon fuse into an amalgam of quick steps, faster dancer moves and non-stop commentary on your favorite sport (music) and pasttime (football). It’s a sinister but exciting juxtaposition that, when you wake and wipe your face, you are upset to see unavailable in your real-life peripheral. The work of Pete Friel under hall of famer pseudonyms came close but the beat wasn’t there. Well, your nightmarish wait is over because here’s the mash-up of your dreams (and those of David “Moose” Adamson and Chris Madsen). As Tuffblades, this Tecmo Bowl of juke and jiving is the post-apocalyptic NFL: the one where steroids has wiped away human existence in the sport, players replaced with robots programmed with the entire history of the league, malfunctioning when the splatter of robot parts wasn’t nearly as enticing as flesh and bone. Yes, we are a Gladiatorial state and we need blood! Tuffblades won’t deliver a good crunch or have you askin’ for tough actin’ Tinactin but it just made for the oddest cassette you’re to hear this year—and an even odder review since Andre 3000 whispers sweet nothings into my cauliflower ears. Lift your arms and be ready to receive this Hail Mary of hip-hop glitch happiness. Damn, it was the statue of liberty! All I know is, you better hit up Indianapolis’ LUNA Music for a copy of this playbook before the new offensive coordinator changes ‘em during training camp.
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