“Their stems were moderate sized. Still, in the 70s, the green apples were tart and crisp. Now they’ve got these ‘hedgehog hybrids’ out in the produce aisle. I go to try and pick one of them green apples up and the stems will go clean through me. My whole hand puffed up like Martin Short. The witch must be managing the orchard.
“So I head for cold storage. They’ve got some original strains from the 70s in there. I take a bite. Lost a little bit of its crispness. I notice the thermostat’s been tinkered with. I am in limbo, in cold storage, somewhere in-between the apple OG and the hedgehog. It’s the Autumn years for the 70s. Firm green turned soupy brown, set aside to thicken.
“They lock the door behind me. Now that I’ve entered cold storage, now that I’ve taken a bite, it’s up to me to manage the strains: Akai MG 614, MG 1214 and others. I work it as best as I can. The years pass in isolation. The thermostat is beyond repair and behaves erratically. The floor gets mucked up just as soon as I mop up the soup.
“Nonetheless, one day I step back and take a look around. Not too shabby, considering the resources available. I am startled by the sound of my own voice, as I exclaim aloud, ‘How do you like them apples, Joey?’”
More about: Joey Agresta
