Got one whip for Jazz, one whip for the freaky shit. Both the same color, make, and model – only thing different is the music I put in them. I go burning down Southern Ave cos fuck stop signs and fuck a 10 minute wait at the stoplight. I know every secret street in the city, and I drive to the tempo I tap out on the faux veneer. Like to feel my stones hit my diaphragm as I crest a hill just quickly enough for the car’s suspension to stretch to its limit. Bring’s you back down to Earth, funnily enough. Anyways, I thought I was the shit. People ask me how I sip my big gulp while shifting gears and I’m all like “It’s in the knees, son.” Flexible knees. I’m like, laterally double-jointed. You could pack me into a 15” square box and ship me to Cuba and I’ll return well-rested, mustachioed, and carrying an armful of dumb tourist t-shirts.
That knee-steering almost sent me swerving straight into a state trooper the other night. I was showing off like it’s nothing when I see this fat soccer-mom lookin’ thing pull up to the light opposite me. Painted milky purple like a fresh double-cup, blunt smoke pouring out the windows, trunk tryna bump but way weighed down with people in the back seat. Two get out and run a lap around the car before the light turns green, both wearing silk kimonos and and radioactive glowsticks, nary a cop giving a fuck in sight, although they could probably hear him from all the way in Raleigh. This dude floats past at five under the speed limit. He gives me a look like I haven’t been fresh since my diaper was changed. I pull a yoo-wee right there. A minute later and I’m beside him, trying to soak in the cool, see what all the action is about. He roles down the window and hands me a cassette without saying a word. “Blue_Note_2092” it said. I’ve been listening to it ever since, and I can promise you, my fuccboi ways are behind me now. I’m a disciple of the Minivan. The Minivan Markus. He’s got an album coming out, eh, possibly tomorrow? In the meantime, peep this cut of boom-bap futurism from the Minivan Marquis himself:
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