The other night I was at a house party that got shutdown.
The landlord turned up, a great hulking 30-something in a V-neck, facing down about 25 pale kids dancing in a kitchen. “I OWN THIS BUILDING”, he kept shouting.
We all watched in horror as he proceeded to suck hard on a long, fat cigarette, continually tapping it nonchalantly into a nearby salad.
What a prick.
Eventually someone rightly told him to, “Fuck off and ring the police”, if there was a problem, which of course he did.
I’m sure Tarquin never had similar problems, not with such assuredly posh name.
He’s got the right idea.
Right now we need less bearded Techno shufflers using women’s names for their contortions of ‘Hiss & Thump’, and more people appropriating the monikers of England’s upper class elite.
SOPHIE? Patricia? Karenn? Daphni?
Montague! Kenneth! Randolph! Errington!
Despite the name, Tarquin is joyously antisocial. Signed up for the latest release on Mr. Mitch’s Gobstopper Records, here he moves from “Kid U’s” elastic helium balladry, to “Lost My Marbles”, a violently cartoonish assortment of frankly horrible sounds. About 2 minutes in there is a high-pitched dial tone noise I can only imagine would be utterly unlistenable on any loud PA system. Brilliant.
• Tarquin: https://soundcloud.com/tarquin-1
• Gobstopper Records: http://gobstopper-records.co.uk
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