Commerce. It’s stupid and I hate it. More to the point, I don’t like leaving my house, and online shopping is for jerks. Plus, in transactions of commerce, money is exchanged, and I don’t have much of that, or any. In addition to these data points, I’m a terrible grump about virtually everything.
But what if it were smaller? Commerce, I mean — like literally smaller. Tiny even. That’s the idea behind ShopLand World, a “large-scale (but miniature) tourist attraction.” Strategic Tape Reserve has already sunk a ton of money into this endeavor, and they still need a ton more (they’re requesting 60 million euros from the EU Horizon 2020 funding board, a not-unreasonable number). You won’t just be able shop at ShopLand World — you’ll be able to shop while squatting down and perusing wares a fraction of the size you’d normally purchase. Think of the glute workout you’ll get! Thighs like tree trunks!
I would … probably leave my house for that.
Of course you can’t have a ridiculous concept without a ridiculous concept album to go along with it. And Strategic Tape Reserve delivers with ShopLand World: Music for a Discovery Park of Miniature Supermarkets, a cassette tape packed to the brim with your favorite STR and STR-adjacent artists. Just look at this roster: Nicholas Langley, Fire-Toolz, Dere Moans, moduS ponY, MonoLogue, qualchan. (three times!), Elizabeth Joan Kelly, Marsha Fisher, Heejin Jang — that’s just a taste, you’ve gotta get this thing to dig in further.
And it will be playing over the loudspeaker at every ShopLand World location.
Imagine that!
All this is enough to melt an old grump’s heart. Now, what’s an old grump gotta do around here to melt the old frozen bank account?
Seriously, I need to know this.
More about: Various Artists
