I am not a doctor. I will make a diagnosis though, on the chalkboard, so long as everyone cooperates. As far as I can tell, everything seems in order, yet makes little to no sense. Can we get a wider look? Is this the right chart? Here’s a heart with no signs of arrhythmia, with no signs of letting up. His blood flow is like a mudslide. His breath is worse than mine. His pulse is like Othello.
Should I keep talking? Should I try that first part over again? How small would you like the sound bite to be, and how much of this song bird do we need to remove to qualify for broadcast? Are you sure the intervals are small enough? I have trouble with pace these days.
You don’t like what I’m saying. It doesn’t matter. There is no doctor in the house. We’ve been begging for one for hours. I stepped up to bat. The patient died quite some time ago, on my watch. After I finished my lunch, I went back to smearing his stats across the chalkboard. There was a murmur that I would soon be replaced and that they would need my suit back for the next guy in line.
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