So many things right now. Dream lover up on Match, though. And if QT starting her Boiler Room x SXSW ‘15 DJ set with “Honey” wasn’t enough Mariah for you this year, yet. Think again. Because not only is Mariah auctioning herself to the internet now on Match, but she just pimped Infinity, a collection of her greats throughout the years, including the newest single “Infinity.” Now, Infinity is pretty much #1’s Vol. 2, but fuck-shit, I have like two cassette versions of #1’s and three (now) of her MTV UNPLUGGED EP (IT’S AN EP!!!!)… so what’s more Mariah in my life? A little thing called happiness.
Also, I whistle to distress my agita, so “Infinity” is about to get my wedding called off. No, I’m not sexually attracted to the goddess that is Mariah Carey, but she’s on Match, and her bat-shit pile of a psyche is exactly what I’m hot for, personally. Thus, the moment I whistle “Infinity” into its literalness, my fiancee will be walking out the front door, and I’ll be getting a move going via the live DVD of hers I borrowed from the library before coming home and playing it. Good bye, Savannah. Hello, [“Infinity” video above by Mariah Carey, because REALITY].
Also, while everyone has quit reading my nonsense, MOTHER FUCK, NICK CANNON. Every time I see the fuck-face, like. He ain’t SHIT. He ain’t even SHIT!!!! TELL MARIAH I’M CUSSIN’ IN THE HOUSE!!!!!! I WILL SNAP YOU IF YOU FUCK ON MY GURLS EMOTIONS!!!!!!!!!!hi, tho. hi!!!!! *Sends Match DM to Mariah*
• Mariah Carey: http://mariahcarey.com
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