Top 5 Reasons Why Kemialliset Ystävät Should be More Popular Than The Hold Steady:
5. Kemialliset Ystävät (Jan Anderzén) released an untitled album last year, and to quote reviewer Keith Kawaii: "As future generations grow even more accustomed to completely ‘songless’ records, Kemialliset Ystävät will feel more like the rule instead of the exception." (TMT Review) The Hold Steady albums are full of song songs.
4. "Kemialliset Ystävät" is Finnish for "Chemical Friends," and since you don't have any friends, chemical or otherwise, you might as well have a Finnish one. Besides, The Hold Steady have so many friends already they wouldn't be able to fit you into their bar-hopping, I-don't-like-their-music-very-much schedule.
3. Kemialliset Ystävät RULES!
2. Kemialliset Ystävät has sampled Sun Ra, Karlheinz Stockhausen, and Vibracathedral Orchestra. The Hold Steady's guitarist said he likes Oasis (and dissed Radiohead).

1. The Hold Steady aren't very good. Really, though, why are they so either loved or hated? You think I like being negative like this about a band that gives so many people joy? You know how many angry emails from Hold Steady fans I'm going to get? Hell, I got enough for my Jack White/Coca-Cola story. GOD. Sometimes I wonder if any of this is worth it. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth it...