The rent’s due tomorrow. The bills are piling up. My dog keeps barking inside my ear. Not even into my ear, the little fellow is actually sticking his snout inside my ear canal and yapping up a storm. It’s really annoying and also it hurts. My girlfriend just left me for the guy who works at Subway, which is inconvenient because I also work at Subway and so does she. Every time I put pickles on some chump’s sandwich, I can see, out of the corner of my eye, them slobbering all over each other. So, no, I’m not taking responsibility for this whole AIDS Wolf US tour thing. I have a full plate already.
Ugh, who am I kidding? Of course, I’ll be responsible for the Canadian noise rockers on their upcoming tour. I’ll book the shows, I’ll drive the van, I’ll build the stages, I’ll even make sure there are some pretty lights pointed at them. Maybe this is just the sort of project that’ll get my mind off the ever-increasing number of sores that are slowly covering my left arm. Maybe one of the AIDS Wolf members will help me find a cure. Please, somebody help me with these sores, they are really weird.
Maybe the secret to solving all my problems actually lies in the new AIDS Wolf album, Ma Vie Banale Avant-Garde. I don’t know why I think it would, since there’s little information out on it, aside from the fact that it is coming out this fall through Lovepump United. Still, I keep watching this special live video of their new song “Le Cercle Des Ratés,” in search of wisdom and cures. So far, nothing, but I will not rest. Just like the goblins that continually slap my face as I sleep, never rest.
AIDS Wolf dates:
10.20.11 - Brooklyn, NY - Death By Audio *
10.21.11 - Cleveland, OH - Now That’s Class *
10.22.11 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle *
10.23.11 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry *
10.24.11 - Iowa City, IA - Gabe’s Oasis *
10.25.11 - Lawrence, KS - Replay Lounge *
10.26.11 - Normal, OK - Opolis *
10.27.11 - Austin, TX - 29th St. Ballroom @ Spide *
10.28.11 - Denton, TX - Rubberglove *
10.29.11 - Hot Springs, AR - TBA *
10.30.11 - Birmingham AL - Firehouse *
10.31.11 - Athens, GA - Farm 255 %
11.03.11 - Miami, FL - Churchill’s %
11.04.11 - Tampa, FL - Crowbar %
11.05.11 - Orlando, FL - Will’s Pub %
11.06.11 - Atlanta, GA - 529 %
11.07.11 - Chapel Hill, NC - Nightlight %
11.08.11 - Harrisonburg, VA - Festival Ballroom at JMU %
11.10.11 - Washington DC - Comet Ping Pong %
11.11.11 - New York, NY - 92Y Tribeca %
11.12.11 - Binghamton, NY - Pajama Kazama %
11.13.11 - Boston, MA - Church of Boston %
* Henry and Hazel Slaughter
% Unicorn Hard-On
• AIDS Wolf: http://aidswolf.net
• Lovepump United: http://www.lpurecords.com