The “Morrissey is secretly all four members of Animal Collective” hashtag on Twitter is spreading like wildfire. Certain pockets of Tumblr are literally convulsing, choked with conspiratorial tags. Bespectacled digital strategy interns at Fortune 500 companies everywhere are giddy with excitement because they can finally combine their two loves: hashtag surfing and indie rock.
As you surely know, there have long been whispers that through some occult witchery, Morrissey is secretly all four members of Animal Collective at once. You’ll also recall that Merriweather Post Pavillion (TMT Review), with its exclusion of Deakin, did rather tellingly come out right after Morrissey had suffered a rather severe haircut. And of course you’re aware of the fact that both Morrissey and AnCo have long-documented aversions to meat (you don’t see Duck Sauce, Ham Sandwich Jam, or Merriweather Meat Pavillion anywhere in AnCo’s discography do you?). The rumors have always been difficult to dismiss, but now, like the New York Times crossword does every week, it’s gotten even harder.
Citing an unfortunate band illness, and following their postponement of a Toronto date, Animal Collective have rescheduled tourdates up through March 15, pushing them back to mid-July (this, of course, suspiciously coincides with Morrissey’s own recent postponement of shows). Already purchased tickets will be honored at the postponed dates, and will also be refundable at their original places of purchase. Here’s hoping AnCo/Morrissey start feeling better, and that the truth eventually outs. (#thetruthisoutthere, anyone?) Until the day that everything is revealed, I’m off to Tumblr- these gifs of grainy security camera footage showing Morrissey entering a cloud of smoke only to emerge as four separate human men aren’t going to re-blog themselves.
Tourdates:
03.11.13 - Cleveland, OH - House of Blues *
03.12.13 - Covington, KY - The Madison Theater *
03.13.13 - Nashville, TN - Marathon Music Works *
03.15.13 Royal Oak, MI - Royal Oak Music Hall *
03.16.13 - Chicago, IL - Riviera Theatre *
03.17.13 - Madison, WI - Orpheum Theatre *
03.18.13 - Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue *
03.20.13 - St. Louis, MO - The Pageant *
03.21.13 - Kansas City, MO - Midland Theater *
03.22.13 - Denver, CO - Ogden Theatre *
03.23.13 - Salt Lake City, UT - Depot *
03.24.13 - Boise, ID - Treefort Music Fest
05.22.13 - Nimes, France - Paloma
05.23.13 - Barcelona, Spain - Primavera Sound
05.25.13 - London, England - Field Day
05.27.13 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Holland Melkweg
05.28.13 - Brussels, Belgium - AB
05.29.13 - Paris, France - Trianon
06.07-09.13 - Randall’s Island, NY - Governor’s Ball
06.10.13 - Washington, DC - 930 Club
06.11.13 - Washington, DC - 930 Club
06.13-16.13 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo
07.02.13 - Helsinki, Finland - The Circus
07.04.13 - Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07.06.13 - Gdynia, Poland - Open’er Festival
07.09.13 - Toronto, Ontario - Danforth Music Hall
07.11-13.13 - Albany, NY - Camp Bisco
07.13-15.13 - Louisville, KY - Forecastle
07.15.13 - Royal Oak, MI - Royal Oak Music Hall (Rescheduled)
07.16.13 - Cleveland, OH - House of Blues (Rescheduled)
07.18.13 - Covington, KY - The Madison Theater (Rescheduled)
07.19.13 - Nashville, TN - Marathon Music Works (Rescheduled)
* Dan Deacon
• Animal Collective: http://animalcollective.org
More about: Animal Collective
