I shifted my weight in the pew, eyes downcast, restless hands folding and unfolding the Sunday bulletin. All around me, aging folk seeking redemption were trying desperately to stay awake. Little boys played with the laces of their dress shoes and teenage girls chewed gum with expressions of uttermost boredom. An old man next to me smiled contently, doing a crossword puzzle he hid between the pages of his hymnal.
My eyes followed the curve of the stained glass window toward the pulpit, when something I'd heard peaked my interest; I listened as the bespectacled priest began to read from a leather bound Bible of foreboding proportion.
"And the Apostle of Hustle shall tour the United States through the months of October and November in the year of our Lord 2007. And with him shall follow those who are honest and good in all that they Do Make Say Think--"
And that's when I offered my soul to the devil in exchange for a pair of tickets and a backstage pass.
* Do Make Say Think
