Before I go on to tell you about the live EP that Cat Power has released on iTunes, I must get something off my chest.
I'll just let the "cat" out of the bag. I hate cats. Cats have ruined my life. Now don't jump to the conclusion that this is off-topic or irrelevant. This is an issue that must be addressed by using a sequential timeline beginning with my birth.
August 14, 1985 - Due to a simple mistake, my dad drives my mom to the wrong hospital when she goes into labor. It just so happens to be an animal hospital. After a veterinarian named "Shelly" poorly delivers me, I am forced to stay the night in cage surrounded by several hissing cats. It was that night that the cats created an official pecking order against me, and from that day forth I was on every cat's hit list.
December 25, 1991 - My drunken uncle Ol' Dirty Bastard surprises me with a kitten for Christmas. My face bright with joyful anticipation that a puppy would jump out of the little cardboard box is blown up in smoke when the box is just full of not one, but three dead kittens. Ol' Dirty forgot to put air holes in the box like usual. Of course, I am horrified, but I'm more disappointed that I didn't get a puppy.
April 3, 1993 - Cat Stevens's tour bus breaks down in front of our house. After his roadies eat a nice home-cooked meal with my family, Cat comes with me to my room. He says, "Hey kid, have you ever tripped?" After the night that I dropped acid with Cat Stevens, I began a disruptive downward spiral into "hardcore" drugs and impregnating various women. This lasted until I turned eight, and I got a hysterectomy after my fourth child was born.
February 17, 1996 - My parents announce to me that they are having a divorce while I am watching an episode of Dr. Katz. They also tell me that they don't like me very much, and my uncle gains full custody over me. That night, I cried so hard that my tears ran all the way down to my testicles. My testicles shriveled until they disappeared, and I haven't seen them since.
April 5, 1998 - My uncle legally changes his name to Big Baby Jesus.
October 31, 1999 - After debating for weeks over catsup vs. ketchup, my friend Alex goes on a shooting rampage at our school. Good thing I didn't go to school on that day!!!!
September 11, 2001 - I have a job in New York City as a delivery man for a catnip company called "Hey, It's like Crack for Cats!" While parked in an alley, a gang of badass cats bombard me with threatening hisses. The cats rape me and scar me for life. It is the worst event that happens on that day, and my story is all
over the news.
So...... maybe now you can see I am slightly shaken by Cat Power. However, I know that Cat Power is really Chan Marshall. I can also infer that she is one nice lady when sober. So without further delay, let me say that I don't hate all cats.
As of now, the four-track, live session EP is only exclusively available on iTunes. If there is one thing that I don't hate, it would be giving all of my money to iTunes. Like Marshall has done before, there are three covers and an acoustic version of "Love and Communication" from her latest effort, The Greatest [TMT Review].
Tracklisting (Meow!!!):
1. Love And Communication (Acoustic Version)
2. House Of The Rising Sun
3. Wild Is The Wind
4. Who Knows Where The Time Goes
I'm all out of cat jokes. Remaining dates:
09.12.06 - Atlanta, GA - Variety Playhouse*
09.13.06 - Chicago, IL - Vic Theatre*
09.15.06 - Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Music Festival*
09.16.06 - Dallas, TX - Gypsy Ballroom*
09.17.06 - Austin, TX - Stubb's BBQ*
09.20.06 - Mexico City, Mexico - Venustiano Carranza 25 (solo)
11.01.06 - London, UK - Roundhouse*
11.03.06 - Amsterdam, NL - Paradiso*
11.04.06 - Brussels, BEL - Ancienne Belgique*
11.05.06 - Paris, FR - Grand Rex
11.07.06 - Zurich, Switzerland - Kaufleuten
11.09.06 - New York City, NY - Avery Fisher Hall (solo)#
* with Memphis Rhythm Band
# Bob Dylan tribute with Patti Smith and Phillip Glass
