I'd rather move on with the world and quit living in the past. Last Friday night, I had this brilliant idea to try to contact the man behind The Robot Ate Me, Ryland Bouchard, and see how he felt about playing TMT's fake fest this summer. Would he be pissed at us or in tears over the hoax? Who knows? But one thing is for sure: My plan fell through. Although I would still hope that Bouchard got a kick out of the whole thing, TRAM (is that an official abbreviation?) will be touring like a motherfucker this summer. The TMT staff would love to make it to a show to apologize and fraternize, but unfortunately for the rest of our lives, we will be bombarded with many pestilential class-action lawsuits. Looks like the robot ate us this time around.
Nonetheless, I strongly encourage everyone to support Bouchard and his twisted-but-pleasing way of bringing forth music to masses of ears. Still riding off the success of Good World, Bouchard will be touring all of this good land called America. I'll admit Bouchard's lo-fi "splendorific" music has inspired me over the years. If I'm ever frustrated with living in the United States, I always have my own personal musical creations that take me to a whole other place. That's exactly what Bouchard does for me. I'm on cloud 15. I know some people are like, "Well, if you don't like America then you can get the fuck out!" Folks, that is simply not true. I abhor our freedom when we use it to make pointless YouTube videos with Mentos and Diet Coke, but I couldn't leave if I tried. Living in the United States for some is just like going to Wal-Mart. Nobody wants to be at Wal-Mart, but they always end up there anyway.
My point is that The Robot Ate Me is as American as vaginal irrigation, thus sparking the imaginations of creative little boys all over. So do as Emceegreg tells you to, and go see TRAM. I know what's cool, and you're not cool if you don't listen to me. There will be many sick beats and good times had. What more could you ask for?
Bicentennial Man was a bad robot movie; tourdates:
