Deer Dearhunter,
We here at Warner Bros. Pictures have noticed that you've recently taken a liking to poorly written, shitty prose. We are also aware of the purported pedophiliac posts you've been producing. Based on the quality of your recent work, the studio would like to offer the members of your performing troupe the unique opportunity of starring in the exciting new film, The NeverEnding Story IV: Bux in Narnia.
Due to recent budgetary cuts, the studio will not be able to offer any monetary compensation for any services rendered. Actors will also be required to provide their own wardrobe. However, the set will be fully catered and principle actors will each receive life-size Atreyu cut-outs, as well as a commemorative Auryn medallion cast in .999 silver culled from the mines of Silver City.
In the hope of a swift response,
Richard Parsons
Deerhunter's NeverEnding story continues tonight in Austria. The November date in Dresden will be prefaced by lunch with Wolfgang Peterson.
