From the Secret Diary of Dave Longstreth:
The Yale campus is always littered with a bunch of fine foxy females, but I always try my best to avoid their friendly advances. Don’t get me wrong; Yale chicks are all super super cute (with surprisingly big tits, actually), but I always rush to get to my music class. Why? Two words: Ms. Toshiko, the Japanese musicologist who taught the entry-level course, Music As Diaspora.
Let me tell you, diary, Ms. Toshiko is fucking blazin’, so incredibly hot that my pants would be on fire every time we even got CLOSE to making eye contact. I’m sure she knew how hot she was too; she’d always wear really tight miniskirts and revealing blouses, just daring students to not stare at her as if their lives depended on it.
But while her outfits were par for the course, today was a special day.
After a discussion about African polyrhythms, Toshiko dismissed the class. I always took my sweet time before I left, though, as I loved watching her erase the marker board. I felt a little perverse for doing it, but really — Ms. Toshiko is so incredibly sexy. She must’ve known that I take awhile to pack up my stuff, because today, after all the students left the room, she suddenly turned around, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “Hey Dave, would you mind helping me erase the board?”
My heart was racing. “Yes, I’d love to,” I muttered. I promptly approached the marker board and grabbed an eraser, starting from the right side, as she continued from the left.
“So, how’s school going?” she asked.
“Pretty good, I’m having a blast.”
“That’s great to hear!” she said with enthusiasm. “How do you like my class?”
“I love it. I absolutely love it.”
“Oh yeah? What do you like best about it?” she said as she turned her body toward me, wearing a cute half smirk on her face.
I was starting to sweat. I was scared to tell her the truth, but if there was ever a moment to seize, this would be it. After all, when would I have the chance to be fully honest with her again? When could I ever possibly talk to her again on such an intimate level? I took a moment to catch my breath, wiping the sweat off my brow.
“Dave?” she asked. “Did you hear me? I asked what you liked best about my class?”
It was now or never, I thought to myself.
“I have to be honest with you, Ms. Toshiko. I really loved the time we spent on African scales. That was fucking rad.”
Dirty Projectors’ summer tour:
05.30.10 - Seattle, WA - Sasquatch Music Festival
06.19.10 - Denver, CO - Westword Music Showcase
06.25.10 - London, UK - Barbican
06.27.10 - Pilton, UK - Glastonbury Festival
06.29.10 - Paris, France - Olympia
07.02.10 - Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07.04.10 - Werchter, Belgium - Rockwerchter Festival
07.06.10 - Manchester, UK - Manchester Academy 2
07.09.10 - Balado, UK - T in the Park
07.10.10 - County Kildare, Ireland - Oxegen Festival
07.12.10 - Lyon, France - Les Nuits de Fourviere
07.14.10 - Cartagena, Spain - La Mar De Musicas
07.15.10 - Benicassim, Spain - Benicassim
07.17.10 - Ferropolis, Germany - Melt! Festival
07.18.10 - Suffolk, UK - Latitutde Festival
08.06.10 - Chicago, IL - Lollapalooza
09.11.10 - New York, NY - Terminal 5
09.23.10 - Pomona, CA - The Glass House
• Dirty Projectors: http://www.dirtyprojectors.net
[Photo: Fishplums]
