Ah, John Lydon: punk stalwart, experimental musician (with PiL), loud-mouthed jerk. We all know the many ways our society labels The Rotten One, but now you can add “spokesman” to the list. Yeah, right, we know all about that Kid Midnight. He is obviously one of the biggest “spokespeople” for punk rock who ever lived. Tell us some real news! No, wait…you’re not listening. John Lydon is helping to sell butter now!
Wait... what?
It's true: John Lydon has recently been appearing in a series of advertisements for “Country Life” butter. ‘Cause he might have “Problems,” but at least he’s got butter!
Dairy Crest, owners of the Country Life brand, are even reporting to Reuters that their sales for the formerly sinking Country Life brand have risen by an astounding 83% since the ads began appearing.
In case you’re wondering: the TV ads carry the slogan “It’s All About Great Butter.” Yes, it is, isn’t it, at least once you hit middle-age, run out of ideas, and find yourself slumping down in a comfy chair to spend your time buttering bread.
As expected, fans of The Sex Pistols have created quite the wave of backlash in response to the ads. Most fans find themselves angry that Lydon has “finally” sold out his punk values. One fan even sent me a telecommunique by way of passenger pigeon. The note read: “I just can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. Johnny Rotten has been lying to us the whole time!” Yes well, that’s to be expected from the Great Rock ‘n’ Roll swindler.
On the flipside, Chicago area grocery store manager and punk fanatic Ben Gomez had this to say: “Hey, as long as the butter is great, I don’t care HOW rotten he was. Oh, and stop calling me Armenian; I’m Hispanic and Irish -- now get back to work!”
Okay, Boss!
