For centuries now we have all been aware of the strange supernatural forces that linger at the margins of our society. I would prefer not to mince words here, as we all know what it is I am referring to: the evil wizards. In days past we have found different means to address the issue when things got out of hand. Setting a wizard’s lair ablaze managed to keep them at bay. A good stake burning here and there never hurt when a message needed to be sent. Really, just fire in general always seemed a safe bet.
But alas, now it seems the evil wizards may prevail in toppling our gloriously dreary and chaste puritanical society, and no amount of fire will thwart their efforts. Our once-noble King Tuff has sold away our kingdom to these hexing heathens in exchange for some kind of dark magic-enchanted lute (he calls it a “guitar”) and an eternal record contract. Though he claims only good can come from his future musical output thanks to his “bitchin’ new ax,” I fear he has become a slave of the wizards’ deceitful magic and is now being forced to do their bidding, for you see, his upcoming album is entitled Black Moon Spell. As described in a recent decree written by the former King himself and proliferated by the evil wizard conglomerate of Sub Pop, this spell causes “euphoria, demented visions, wet dreams, bouts of laughter, and dazed confusion resulting in primordial dancing.” If you still have any doubts that our fair King is no longer of sound mind, just listen to the first single, “Eyes of the Muse,” below and try and tell me that this is the same man who once had his court jester drawn and quartered for telling a bawdy joke that involved a donkey. Surely he cannot be that majestic hero any longer. Oh curse the day of September 23, when this spell shall be cast upon the land!
The bright side to all of this, if it can be said that there is one, is that once our minds are no longer our own and we are slaves to our gyrating hips, base desires, and the undeserved joy that this accursed “music” will surely bring about, we can all take our god-affronting bodies to a King Tuff concert, because, well, fuck it. We’re already doomed anyway.
Black Moon Spell tracklist:
01. Black Moon Spell
02. Sick Mind
03. Rainbow’s Run
04. Headbanger
05. Beautiful Thing
06. I Love You Ugly
07. Magic Mirror
08. Madness
09. Demon From Hell
10. Black Holes in Stereo
11. Radiation
12. Eyes of the Muse
13. Staircase of Diamonds
14. Eddie’s Song
Tour dates:
09.25.14 - San Diego, CA - Irenic
09.26.14 - Phoenix, AZ - Crescent Ballroom
09.27.14 - Tucson, AZ - 191 Toole
09.29.14 - Dallas, TX - Club Dada
09.30.14 - Oxford, MS - Proud Larry’s
10.01.14 - Nashville, TN - Mercy Lounge
10.02.14 - Atlanta, GA - Masquerade
10.03.14 - Raleigh, NC - Kings Barricade
10.04.14 - Washington, DC - Black Cat
10.07.14 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
10.08.14 - Brooklyn, NY - Baby’s All Right
10.09.14 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
10.10.14 - Cambridge, MA - The Sinclair
10.11.14 - Easthampton, MA - Flywheel
10.12.14 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore
10.14.14 - Toronto, ON - Horeshoe Tavern
10.15.14 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick Lounge
10.16.14 - Chicago, IL - Subterranean
10.17.14 - Milwaukee, WI - Cactus Club
10.18.14 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
10.20.14 - Missoula, MT - Stage 112
10.22.14 - Seattle, WA - Neumo’s
10.23.14 - Vancouver, BC - Fortune Sound Club
10.25.14 - Portland, OR - Lola’s
10.28.14 - Sacramento, CA - Witch Room
10.29.14 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall
11.06.14 - Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theatre
11.08.14 - Austin, TX - Fun Fun Fun Fest
• King Tuff: http://www.kingtuffworld.com
• Sub Pop: https://www.subpop.com
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