Don't look now, kids, but many a manly, rippled artist manager and music lawyer are about to grease themselves up, tag themselves in, and enter the ring to square off against those heavyweight major labels in yet another frenzied fight to get their clients (and naturally themselves) paid.
So, what have those ‘roid-popping majors done this time? Well, it turns out that many bands haven't seen one red cent of the payments negotiated last year in a series of copyright-infringement settlements between the labels and various insidious file-sharing websites like Napster and Kazaa. Universal Music, Warner Music, and EMI have all settled claims with the sites, but many managers say that little to none of that money has actually trickled down to their clients. The solution? A possible cage match full of action... hot, sweaty, semantical, nickel-on-dime legal action!
"Artist managers and lawyers have been wondering for months when their artists will see money from the copyright settlements and how it will be accounted for," told lawyer John Branca, who has represented such heavyweights as Korn and The Rolling Stones, to the New York Post recently. "Some of them are even talking about filing lawsuits if they don't get paid soon." Gee, a bunch of lawyers are "talking about filing lawsuits"? Get me tickets to that!
Ah, but seriously, folks, all wacky wrestling metaphors aside, with the music industry's much publicized (and much lampooned) financial woes, it has been increasingly difficult for any artist of any status to get any extra money out of their label in the first place, let alone something as ambiguous as file-sharing settlement royalties. However, most labels argue that "corporate bosses" (yeah, totally sounds made up) are still deciding on how to split the money, as not every artist is owed money, and it must be calculated (like, on an abacus, I guess) with regard to the level of copyright infringement for each artist. Also, once the labels recouped their legal expenses from the whole ordeal, there wasn't much left to pass along to the artists anyway. So, you know, they should just forget about it... probably...
Oh, also, a spokeswoman for EMI has apparently stated that the label has started the process of "sharing proceeds from the Napster and Kazaa settlements with artists and writers whose work was infringed upon." Meanwhile, Warner Music's rep says that the company "is sharing the Napster settlement with its recording artists and songwriters and at this stage nearly all settlement monies have been disbursed," and Universal Music's spokesman insists that the label's policy "is to share its portion of various settlements with its artists, regardless of whether their contracts require it."
Well, isn't that just nice! I guess we were wrong about the labels hording that money. Sorry everyone, never mind. Cancel the report. Guys? Hey, yeah, Phil, why don't you go ahead and cut those cameras... right... yeah those mics too. Just take it all down. Dish and everything. It can all... no... right, yeah that stuff goes in the van. Hey, Jerry? Where's the van parked at? Can, can you take the keys from me? I've got to call HQ... "Hey, Mr P, it's me... yeah turns out it's a no-go... no, the labels are on top of this one... yeah, might as well kill the presses. Thanks. See you soon." Okay guys, are we outta here? Can we get the next news story up please? Oh, okay, here... looks like we've got one online here. Here it comes. Sorry again, folks. Let's go home, everyone... Phil, is that camera still on?? I thought i told you to kill it, alr...
