Metallica. After releasing two or three of the greatest metal albums ever, taking on Napster, battling digital providers, jumping the shark by recording an album with a symphony, whoring themselves out to Guitar Hero III, attending rehab and group therapy, winning more Grammys than Lionel Ritchie, releasing a movie of attending rehab and group therapy, emotionally crippling their first guitarist Dave Mustaine by kicking him out of the band 20-odd years ago thus making him spend the time that has passed a bitter, resentful man who takes every opportunity the press affords him to deride the band and their success that he somehow thinks should be his (cut the fucking cord, man!), everybody's favorite Bay Area thrash merchants will be playing a show tomorrow near San Francisco to commemorate Record Store Day! Pull out those Victrolas and dust off your 78 RPM phonographs! Metallica will do a signing session and play an in-store at Rasputin Music in Mountain View, near San Francisco on Saturday. In an unbelievable coincidence, Metallica’s first two albums, Kill ‘Em All and Ride the Lightning have been reissued on vinyl this week. Wow, what a crazy coincidence!

Record Store Day, now the fourth most important holiday in the U.S. -- behind National Cream-Filled Donut Day, Talk Like a Pirate's Parrot's Secretary's Letter Carrier Day, and Easter -- is indeed tomorrow, April 19. Record Store Day will celebrate a disappearing breed of retail store and, in turn, a time when people used to go outside to physically steal albums instead of simply doing it online. And we blame the obesity "epidemic" on bad eating habits, a lack of exercise and the lure of unbelievably awesome video games! Here is a list of participating stores, many of whom will be doing special promotions with labels, giving away stuff, and holding in-store shows as part of the celebration. Björk, Merge Records, Barsuk, etc. -- there's a lot of stuff going on. But when Record Store Day is over, all of these shops will be shuttered and closed for business, paving the way for online-only digital shopping utopia... aaaahhhhaahahhhhhahahhhaaaahhh (evil chief technology executive officer laugh)!

The news of Record Store Day was allegedly originally announced on Mt. Sinai where Moses, in a faded Skynyrd “Gimme Back My Bullets” tour shirt, addressed the crowd: “On this day, all of these stores will simultaneously link and act as one with the purpose of celebrating the culture and unique place that they occupy both in their local communities and nationally.” One bystander who walked all of the way from the impromptu press conference was expecting some sort of revelatory commandment declaration but admitted he would go to Scooter's Ye Olde Record Shoppe in a show of support for the day and finally pick up Lou Reed's Transformer and take a chance on a Biddu album that first caught his eye a couple of months ago while crate digging for some techno 12-inches.

The stars have come out to show support of the day to celebrate record stores (most of whom probably haven’t paid for an album, much less entered a record store in years... but let us not dwell on that):

- Among the scads of celebrity quotes on the Record Store Day site is one from Paul McCartney, who said, “There’s nothing as glamorous to me as a record store. When I recently played Ameoba in LA, I realized what fantastic memories such a collection of music brings back when you see it all in one place. That is why I’m more than happy to support Record Store Day and I hope that that these kinds of stores will be there for us all for many years to come.” He then said, “Cheers.” Then he added, “Pip pip, Cheerios, Wheaties, Rice Krispies, Cocoa Puffs, Fruity Pebbles” before stomping away muttering something about “getting away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”

- Damian Rice offers this lucid piece of insight: “Dusty violin maker shop small corner record store water holes for dreamers don’t stop breathe more.” I couldn't agree more.

- KT Tunstall nails the spirit of the day with this: “Independent records stores are like a casino where you put down your money and you always win. How amazing to discover gems you didn’t know about, to meet someone more passionate than you are, and to feel at home in a place you may never have been to before. I’m convinced they will never lose their place - Long may they rule.”

- Shelby Lynne takes a more practical approach: “You can’t roll a joint on an iPod -- buy vinyl!”

- And if I haven't copied enough quotes for you yet, the last word has to go to Ian Gillan (Deep Purple): “Buy real records in real shops, or I’ll come round your house and scream at your mother.”

Shouldn’t that be reason enough to do your part and support this treasured day? Your mom's ears will thank you and she really doesn't deserve that abuse, no matter how shitty her Spam and Ramen noodle casserole was last week