Patton fans everywhere united over the lameness of being able to play "Epic" by Faith No More in the video game Rock Band. The fun train doesn't stop there, though, as Patton has recorded his sensual voice for the video games The Darkness and Portal. Oh, but there is more. Just listen closely to the next advertisement that you see on TV for the Will Smith film, I Am Legend:
Sound of explosions
People screaming
Someone shouts "I'm not infected!"
Words scroll on screen: "The Last Man on Earth Is Not Alone"
Sounds of growling
Will Smith is sleeping in a bathtub with and AK-47 and his dog,
completely naked.
He opens one eye when he hears another growling sound
He jumps up and sees Mike Patton perched on the toilet.
Will Smith says, "Holy shit, it's Mike Patton!"
Patton leaps from the toilet and speaks like Gollem.
"Hey, I thought you didn't curse?" says Patton.
Smith retorts, "Only in music. I can say whatever the fuck I want in
my movies."
"Oh, well this is awkward."
"Yeah... I thought I was the last man on Earth."
Gollem-Patton shrugs his shoulders, "I guess not."
Action montage ensues with "Midlife Crisis" playing
Quick shots of explosions and shootouts with poor-quality CGI looking
creatures
A quick flash of the image of "Xenu" as placed in the film reel by
Mr. Smith himself
The trailer ends with the title flashing on the screen
Smith and Patton are beat boxing to "Summertime" on a beach
Fades to black
So, that is that. Mike Patton is a busy man, and I blatantly discriminated Will Smith for being a scientologist. But nobody cares. And I should clarify that Patton won't really be seen in the film, only heard -- making sounds is what he does best/gets paid for. Anyway, I Am Legend is based on a novel of the same name, but if the film were about me, I would have Lance Bass play me. I would also have the main character meet up with a random girl from middle school. You know, the girl who said, "I would never be with you, even if we were the last two people on earth." Ha, the joke will be on her, because Lance Bass is not "into the ladies." Goodbye world!
