Hey, indie kid! Remember how you’re basically “into” the cloistered, insular, venerated, self-perpetuating, and self-mythologizing independent rock music scene in the first place because of how instinctively repelled you were by those typical schoolyard playground conceits of, you know, sports, brawn, machismo, and athletic-apparel-denoted alliances and status-symbols?
Well, cut the wussy daydreaming and sissy list-making, word-using, prose-writing bullshit, Poindexter, because NIKE doesn’t remember that shit at all. Yup. Like a perfectly spiraled red-and-black Nerf Turbo foam football headed straight for the homemade Black Flag patch on your back, here comes NIKE’s garish fucking Sub Pop shoe to knock you on your face for $150 a pair.
The new sneaker, which is bright yellow with black suede, a grey stripe, and a star for detailing, is the newest addition to NIKE's “Quickstrike SB Blazer Elite series,” whatever the hell that means. WTF, NIKE? And I guess, perhaps more bafflingly, WTF Sub Pop?!
Hey, remember how Nirvana famously made Bleach (a.k.a. Sub Pop’s first huge success record) for $606.17? Well fuck, man, turns out they coulda just bought a pair of SNEAKERS for everyone in the band with that money instead... with plenty of cash leftover to spend on red-and-black Nerf Turbo foam footballs.
