The GOOD NEWS?
Your absolutely favorite group ever Nine Inch Nails have announced that they will be extending their 2008 Lights In The Sky Tour and bringing their big ol’ industrial-prog-emo-metal-pop-futurewave-tech-punktronc-whateveritis sound to a whole smattering of U.S. and Canadian dates (yes, this means you, Saskatoon!) this fall.
You are so psyched and ready for this. You’ve already heard that returning member Robin Finck and new addition Justin Meldal-Johnsen will join Trent Reznor, Alessandro Cortini, and Josh Freese as they bull-doze their way across the new world. You can practically feel the bass in your stomach, empathized angst in your throat, and newly minted XXL vintage “NIN: Now I’m Nothing” t-shirt weighing heavily on your sweat-drenched torso.
You’ve done all the research. Being a true fan, you know that Finck has served in numerous touring configurations of NIN, from tours supporting The Downward Spiral (1994-1997) to The Fragile (2000-2001). You’re vaguely aware that he recently played for Guns N' Roses, even though that’s more of a thing your step-dad is into, and you remember that Meldal-Johnsen previously performed with Beck (a.k.a., “that pussy, Beck”) for more than a decade and was a founding member of Ima Robot.
So in short, you’re totally psyched. You’re anticipating that the upcoming tour will feature the live debut of material from the recently released Ghosts I-IV (TMT Review) and The Slip alongside other songs that span the entire NIN catalog. And you’re overwhelmed with excitement because you love all of those songs. Reznor sings about what you feel, and lately, you’ve been feeling fucked up about some shit! This tour’s show in your town is going to kick some royal ass. It’s going to make up for all of that bullshit that’s been heaped upon you by your friends, your family, your partners, and “the man,” and you cannot WAIT to go...
THE BAD NEWS:
You’re in high school, the school year just started, and you’re Religion 401 syllabus says that you’ve got a rough draft due the morning after. Fuck. You can’t go.
All Aboard the NIN Continental Express:
