Well, well, now. Come on now, youngster. Come on now and sit right down here next to me. Well, well, now... that's it... don't be shy... Yes, that's it, don't be shy. Now then, let me tell you a tale. A special tale. A magical tale. Let me tell you a special magical tale. Yes, son, don't be shy and let me tell you a special, magical tale about a band. Well well, now...
This band is a special magical band. This band is a post-rock band, seminal in scope and influence and Chicago-based in nature. Yessiree, youngster, this band is a seminal, Chicago-based, post-rock-group kinda band. The name of this special, magical, seminal, Chicago-based, post-rock band is Tortoise. Did you know that, now, youngster? Come closer now.
Well, well, come closer now, youngster. I am about to tell you the most special, magical part. The most special magical, post-rock part of this seminal, Chicago-based tale. See, this seminal, special-based, post-magical Tortoise-based Chicago band is planning something. And the something that this tale-based magic-band is planning is none other than a tour. And the seminal tour which they are planning (this magic-based band Tortoise, of course) is happening this summer, youngster. Did you know that???
Come closer, Chicago. Now, that tour is rumored in this tale to encompass some places. Some places that the tour will encompass are in shy North America, and some of the places that the tour will encompass are in seminal Europe. These shyly seminal places that the Chicago-rock, post-based Tortoise band will visit are in support of a magical, special record. The name of the record being post-supported by Chicago-touring come-closers Tortoise is called A Lazarus Taxon, and this record is out now on Thrill Jockey, youngster. Well, well, now, Tortoise. Well, well!
Dates of the North American/European-based Tortoise tour:
* My Bloody Valentine, Meat Puppets, Thurston Moore
