The Muppet Show's good-hearted haters Statler and Waldorf review Former Ghosts' latest album "from the balcony." Former Ghosts are Nika Roza (Zola Jesus), Freddy Ruppert (This Song Is a Mess but So Am I), and Jamie Stewart (Xiu Xiu) and their debut record, Fleur, will be released October 20 on Upset the Rhythm.
Statler: "This band is called Former Ghost."
Waldorf: "Yeah, but the only thing about them that won't come back from the dead are their songs!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
1. Us and Now
Statler: "This album is off to a fast start."
Waldorf: "Good. Maybe it'll end quicker!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
2. Hold On
Statler: "You know, there's nothing like good music."
Waldorf: "Yep, and that was nothing like it!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
3. Mother
Statler: "That was catchy."
Waldorf: "So is smallpox!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
4. Choices
Statler: "What was that?"
Waldorf: "That was 'Choices,' a medium song."
Statler: "Medium?"
Waldorf: "Well, it certainly wasn't rare and it wasn't well-done!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
5. In Earth's Palm
Statler: "Wake up you old fool. You slept through that whole song!"
Waldorf: "Who's a fool? You listened to it!"
6. I Wave
Statler: "This sounds like a runaway hit."
Waldorf: "Yeah, whenever it comes on, you want to run away!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
7. Dreams
Statler: "This is the first time I've listened to an amphibious rock band."
Waldorf: "Amphibious?"
Statler: "Yeah, they can be dull on land or on water!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
8. Unfolding
Statler: "The question is, 'What is this song about?'"
Waldorf: "No, the question is 'Who cares?'"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
9. Flowers
Statler: "Good singer."
Waldorf: "Well, so am I!"
Statler: "What?"
Waldorf: "Yeah, do you want to hear me sing?"
Statler: "Only if you sing tenor."
Waldorf: "Tenor?"
Statler: "Yeah, ten-or eleven miles away!"
10. The Bull and the Ram
Statler: "Well, they got one right."
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
11. Hello Again
Statler: "What did you think?"
Waldorf: "Shocking."
Statler: "But was it good?"
Waldorf: "No, that would be really shocking!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
12. This Is My Last Goodbye
Statler: "Former Ghosts aren't bad for comedians."
Waldorf: "They're not comedians, they're musicians."
Statler: "I know!"
Both: (cackle, cackle...)
Don't let these two blind-siding old cranks tell you otherwise, the only thing terrible about Former Ghosts is the fact that Roza will not be appearing at the following dates due to scholastic duties. Stewart and Ruppert promise to make up for it large by heckling every single audience with corny one-liners
10.02.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Trunk Space
10.03.09 - Tucson, AZ - Solar Culture
10.05.09 - Austin, TX - Mohawk Inside
10.06.09 - Houston, TX - Orange Show
10.07.09 - Mobile, AL - Alabama Music Box
10.08.09 - Atlanta, GA - Drunken Unicorn
10.09.09 - Durham, NC - Duke Coffeehouse
10.10.09 - Washington, DC - Comet Ping Pong
10.11.09 - Wilkes Barre, PA - Café Metropolis
10.12.09 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church Chapel
10.13.09 - New York, NY - Monkey Town
10.14.09 - Boston, MA - Middle East Upstairs
10.15.09 - Montréal, QC - Il Motore
10.16.09 - Toronto, ON - Whippersnapper
10.17.09 - Chicago, IL - Chopin Theatre
10.21.09 - Vancouver, BC - Media Club
10.22.09 - Spokane, WA - Empyrean Coffee House
10.23.09 - Seattle, WA - Vera Project
10.24.09 - Portland, OR - Lewis and Clark
10.27.09 - Merced, CA - The Partisan
10.28.09 - San Francisco, CA - Hemlock
10.27.09 - San Jose, CA - Works Gallery
10.30.09 - San Luis Obispo, CA - Arts Center
10.31.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Synchronicity Space
