Today, after over a year of putting it off, the TMT office finally cracked open our bottle of Flaming Lips Brainville Rye whiskey. (Hey, it’s Friday. RELAX.) Shortly after breaking the seal however, almost as if on cue, a rainbow-colored bird flew in through an open window, and perched itself atop our NBA regulation-sized basketball hoop. Tilting its head back-and-forth with a distant stare, it seemed as if our remarkable visitor was using every ounce of its minuscule brain to understand this strange new world. Just as we all reached for our phones though — to take a photo, post on social media, or Google “rainbow bird, poisonous?” — it happened.
In a deafening, droning voice that can only described as “adult from Charlie Brown-esque,” our feathered invader issued a proclamation. “THE FLAMING LIPS ARE GOING ON TOUR! OKEECHOBEE. ATHENS. KNOXVILLE. AND MOOOOOOOORE! Confetti began to fly out of the menace’s mouth, each individual piece listing off the tour dates.
But, before there was even a moment to process that profoundly weird and science-shattering event: an ear-piercing screech, a flash of light, and *poof* that abomination exploded into a cloud of glitter. God dammit, Coyne, we’re going to be picking that junk out of our keyboards for months Anyway…
Here are The Flaming Lips tour dates that, 100%, a rainbow-colored bird vomited onto the floor before exploding:
03.03.18 – Okeechobee, FL – Okeechobee Festival
03.05.18 – Athens, GA – Georgia Theatre
03.06.18 – Knoxville, TN – The Mill & Mine
03.07.18 – Birmingham, AL – Iron City
03.09.18 – Asheville, NC – Orange Peel
03.10.18 – Richmond, VA – The National
03.11.18 – Bensalem, PA – XCite Center at Parx Casino
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